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This junkyard '91 Grand Am is as hooptie as it gets

I spend a lot of time in junkyards. A lot of time. With all this experience, I have learned to recognize a perfect hooptie when I see one, a car whose final owner got every last bit of use out of it when its value was hovering right about at scrap value. This 1991 Pontiac Grand Am that I spotted in a San Francisco Bay Area self-service wrecking yard a few days ago, from the final model year for the third-generation Grand Am, checks all the hooptie boxes just right. First of all, it's a low-option coupe with the wretched and unloved GM Iron Duke engine, a rattly, gnashy, thrashy 2.5-liter four-cylinder kludged together using off-the-shelf parts from the Pontiac 301-cubic-inch V8 during the darkest years of the Malaise Era and used in cars whose buyers just didn't care. Most of the paint has been burned off by 25 years of harsh California sun, but the car spent sufficient time in a damp, shady spot for lichens to build up here and there. There are skeletons-with-sombreros stencils sprayed here and there, plus a big moonshine-guzzling skeleton mural painted on the hood. Goodbye, property values! Still, someone felt some affection for this car, giving it the name "Good Ol' Snakey" and painting that name on the decklid. We can assume that the Iron Duke was a bit loose by this time, probably leaving a serpentine trail of blue smoke behind the car at all times. So, the combination of cheapness, ugliness, menace, and who-gives-a-damn functionality make this Grand Am an excellent example of a pure hooptie. Within a couple of months, it will be crushed, shredded, shipped out of the Port of Oakland, and reborn in China as refrigerators and Geely Emgrands. Somewhere in Northern California, though, a few of Ol' Smokey's friends will remember this car fondly.

Destiny: General Motors should bring back Pontiac

Despite having officially left the market in 2010, the Pontiac badge is still a common sight on roadways throughout the United States. Towards the end of its life, Pontiac models were largely rebadged versions of other General Motors vehicles, like the Pontiac G5 and Chevrolet Cobalt. It's sad, but there's no other way to put it; Pontiac was a mere shadow of its former self at the time of its death. Now it's time to revive the legendary brand. General Motors announced it would be reviving the Redline series, a package that originated with Saturn, another dead brand, earlier this year. Some models, like the Chevrolet Camaro will receive unique cosmetic touches designed to make it look even sportier, something Pontiac excelled at in most cases. Gas prices have fallen dramatically in the past few years and consumers have taken notice. Sales of fuel efficient cars, like hybrids and compact sedans, aren't increasing at the same rate as larger, less efficient vehicles, like trucks and SUVs. Muscle cars, like the Ford Mustang, are seeing increasing sales as well. Perhaps it's time to revive Pontiac and restore the marque to its former glory: a brand that brought performance and style at an affordable price. There are currently few manufacturers that offer a true challenge to high-performance automakers like BMW. The German brand continues to see high sales year after year and performance has a lot to do with it. Brand recognition, namely through the BMW badge, plays a major role as well. Pontiac, arguably one of the most well-known brands to ever grace the industry, can match both factors with ease. Pontiac was once revered as a brand that revolutionized the muscle car segment in the 1970s and 1980s. It still has a lively following throughout enthusiast spheres and amongst drivers of all ages to this day. Reviving the brand with a small line of high-performance vehicles would certainly offer a challenge to dominating German brands. A small lineup of affordable vehicles bearing the Pontiac badge and designed for performance and style would certainly make waves in the current market. Reviving a few older nameplates, such as the GTO and Trans Am, would offer nostalgic appeal. Packing both models with a powerful entry-level engine, say the Camaro's turbocharged four-cylinder or V6 engine, would open up the market considerably.

1969 Pontiac GTO Judge vs. 2006 GTO, which Goat gets your vote?

The Pontiac GTO was perhaps the most iconic muscle car of the '60s and early '70s. With its beefy V8 and color palette screaming for attention, it summarized in a single vehicle everything that made the era so appealing to many young people. Pontiac tried to collect just a few drops of that aura again in the 2000s with a revived GTO, but with decidedly mixed results. The performance was still there with its big V8, but the looks never quite lived up to the powertrain. Now, Generation Gap wants to know which of these Goats is the one to own.
Things are skewed immediately because the 2006 GTO here is a real ringer. It comes from famous tuner Ken Lingenfelter's collection, and it's a one-off example partially fettled by GM Performance boasting a twin-turbocharged LS2 V8 with a claimed 750 horsepower and a wide-body kit. This Goat definitely isn't what you're going to find just browsing for one to buy in the newspaper. Still, dip the throttle just a little, and this GTO pulls like a freight train. It's enough to turn the two hosts into giggling schoolboys behind the wheel.
The '69 GTO Judge here is also out of Lingenfelter's collection, but this one is all stock with a 400-cubic-inch (6.6-liter) V8 and a Ram Air hood for a claimed 366 hp. It might not have the unbelievable power of the turbo '06, but it makes up for it with style to spare.