1971 Pontiac Le Mans T-37 on 2040-cars

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Junkyard Gem: 2002 Pontiac Aztek

The General's Pontiac Division sold the Aztek for the 2001 through 2005 model years, and — despite enjoying something of a cultural rebirth in recent years — it is generally considered to be one of the worst cars of all time. The idea of using a minivan platform as the basis for a rough-and-tough-looking crossover with plenty of outdoor-lifestyle amenities wasn't the problem, since many vehicle manufacturers have printed bales of money using that formula. What doomed the Aztek was its hideous appearance and sticker price too lofty for its underemployed-at-the-time Generation X target demographic. Still, the Aztek proved to be perfectly suited for the outdoor activities that Coloradans love: hiking, camping, fishing, skiing, hauling mud-caked golden retrievers around, etc., and so you'll still find lots of Azteks on the roads of the Centennial State. Here's an Aztek Yellow Aztek (yes, that's really the paint color's official title) residing just a few rows from a '76 Checker Taxicab in a Denver self-service yard. Sure, it does look like a vehicle built to the specifications of a six-year-old who decreed a mashup between a Datsun F-10 and a Fisher-Price Little People Travel Together Airplane, but so what? There's a built-in air compressor to blow up your inflatable rafts and volleyballs, a tent attachment that turns the rear of the van into a camper, 12-volt power plugs all over the vehicle (years before this became commonplace on ordinary minivans and SUVs), and running-gear commonality with a jillion Ventures, Silhouettes, Montanas and Trans Sports. Buick managed to de-uglify the Aztek (somewhat) and sold it as the Rendezvous through 2007, but the Aztek never could win over many people with this face. I see plenty of Azteks and Rendezvouses in Denver-area wrecking yards, and I've documented a handful over the years. This one came fully loaded from the factory, with the Corvette-style heads-up display in full effect. The center console was a removable cooler, which was a great idea Â… except for the fact that this cooler holds five standard 12-ounce cans. Michigan residents tell me that this must have been intentional on the part of the Detroit-based Aztek designers, because Michiganders are expected to chug one beer out of a sixer as they walk from the liquor store to the car in the parking lot Â… which makes me extra cautious whenever I'm driving in the Wolverine State.

Junkyard Gem: 1980 Pontiac Phoenix LJ Hatchback

The car-building world was rushing headlong into front-wheel-drive by the late 1970s, eager to reap the weight-saving and space-enhancing benefits of front-drive designs. General Motors designed an innovative FWD platform to replace the embarrassingly outdated Chevrolet Nova and its siblings, and that ended up being the Chevrolet Citation. The other US-market GM car divisions (except Cadillac) got a piece of the X-Body action, and the Pontiac version was called the Phoenix. Here's one of those first-year Phoenixes, not doing a very good job of rising from its snow-covered ashes in a Colorado self-service yard. Pontiac had used the Phoenix name on a luxed-up iteration of Pontiac's version of the Chevy Nova during the 1977-1979 model years, and so it made sense to apply that name to the Pontiac-ized Citation. Phoenix production continued through the 1984 model year (the Citation managed to hang on through 1985). Just to confuse everyone, the Nova name was revived in 1985, on a NUMMI-built Toyota Corolla. The LJ trim level was the nicest one for the 1980 Phoenix, and it included lots of trim upgrades and convenience features. However, even Phoenix LJ buyers had to pay extra for a three-speed automatic transmission instead of the base four-on-the-floor manual ($337, or about $1,291 in 2022 dollars). If you wanted air conditioning, that was another $564 and you had to get the $164 power steering and the $76 power brakes with it (total cost in 2022 dollars: $3,080). Affordable cars weren't so affordable back then, not once you started adding basic options. Both generations of the Phoenix had grilles influenced by those of the Pontiacs of earlier years. The base engine was the chugging 2.5-liter Iron Duke four-cylinder, but a 2.8-liter V6 was optional. This car has the V6, rated at 115 horsepower rather than the Duke's miserable 90 horses. The price tag: 225 bucks, or 862 inflation-adjusted 2022 bucks. The Phoenix was available just as a two-door coupe and five-door hatchback. The MSRP on this car would have started at $6,127, or around $23,469 now. That would have been a pretty good deal even after paying for the options, with the Phoenix's excellent mix of good interior space and solid fuel economy… but the Citation and its kin (the Oldsmobile Omega and Buick Skylark as well as the Phoenix) suffered from seemingly endless, highly publicized recalls and quality problems.

Watch this garbage truck consume a Pontiac Grand Am

When an old car or truck offers its dying breath in your driveway and you just don't have the financial or mechanical wherewithal to resuscitate it yet again, you traditionally have to go to the trouble of calling a flatbed or a tow truck to come haul it away. That usually helps to put a few bucks in your wallet and helps recycle some of the vehicle's parts, but the transaction doesn't seem as final or perversely satisfying as the dispatch service that this New Way Cobra Magnum garbage truck offers.
Okay, okay, so this refuse hauler isn't actually designed for this sort of thing, but it's oddly comforting to know that a sanitation truck can compact a hapless Pontiac Grand Am into oblivion. Next time, we won't feel so guilty about slipping that rusty charcoal grille onto the curb next to the cans on garbage day. Watch the carnage by scrolling below.