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This junkyard '91 Grand Am is as hooptie as it gets

I spend a lot of time in junkyards. A lot of time. With all this experience, I have learned to recognize a perfect hooptie when I see one, a car whose final owner got every last bit of use out of it when its value was hovering right about at scrap value. This 1991 Pontiac Grand Am that I spotted in a San Francisco Bay Area self-service wrecking yard a few days ago, from the final model year for the third-generation Grand Am, checks all the hooptie boxes just right. First of all, it's a low-option coupe with the wretched and unloved GM Iron Duke engine, a rattly, gnashy, thrashy 2.5-liter four-cylinder kludged together using off-the-shelf parts from the Pontiac 301-cubic-inch V8 during the darkest years of the Malaise Era and used in cars whose buyers just didn't care. Most of the paint has been burned off by 25 years of harsh California sun, but the car spent sufficient time in a damp, shady spot for lichens to build up here and there. There are skeletons-with-sombreros stencils sprayed here and there, plus a big moonshine-guzzling skeleton mural painted on the hood. Goodbye, property values! Still, someone felt some affection for this car, giving it the name "Good Ol' Snakey" and painting that name on the decklid. We can assume that the Iron Duke was a bit loose by this time, probably leaving a serpentine trail of blue smoke behind the car at all times. So, the combination of cheapness, ugliness, menace, and who-gives-a-damn functionality make this Grand Am an excellent example of a pure hooptie. Within a couple of months, it will be crushed, shredded, shipped out of the Port of Oakland, and reborn in China as refrigerators and Geely Emgrands. Somewhere in Northern California, though, a few of Ol' Smokey's friends will remember this car fondly.

Watch as Hot Rod goes from El Paso to LA the hard way

There are few things simultaneously more romantic and idiotic than taking a road trip in a beaten-down heap of a car. Trust us. We know. David Freiburger and Mike Finnegan of Hot Rod Magazine fame recently undertook an epic trip from El Paso, Texas to Los Angeles with the express goal of doing so for under $1,500, including the purchase price of a vehicle, food, lodging, repairs and, most importantly, fuel. With this in mind, the duo settled on a 1972 Pontiac Catalina for a lofty $650. Hilarity ensues.
Realizing that no one actually wants a Catalina sulking around the shop, Freiburger and Finnegan put the car up for auction on eBay Motors the instant they had the title in hand. By the time they rolled into Hot Rod HQ, the vehicle sold for a little over $500.
The video is part of a new series called Roadkill that should document similar adventures. Keep your eyes peeled for more calamity-soaked clips in the near future. In the meantime, hit the jump to check it out yourself.

6 car mashups that God never intended

In the 2000s, the musical mashup genre saw a peak of popularity with releases like The Grey Album from Danger Mouse that mixed The Beatles and Jay-Z. UK artist James Pursey from Carwow decided to take the same concept of shoehorning two disparate things together but applied the concept to cars. Your opinion on the results will vary with your sense of humor. These creations are either some funny pieces of abstract art or absolute monstrosities that prove good design should be left alone. Likely the best of the bunch is the Lambotomic (pictured above), which combines a Lamborghini Miura and an Ariel Atom. Granted, the Ariel is little more than a skeleton to begin with, and the outcome looks like a slightly stretched Atom with the new nose and tail from one of the most beautiful vehicles ever. This could actually work. Though, not all of the mashups are quite so pleasant. The Porschiac WW RS (pictured right) is absolutely disgusting. It combines a Pontiac Aztek, which isn't a beauty queen to start with, and a Porsche 911 GT3 RS. Obviously, the 911 is an iconic shape in autonobolia, but that can't save it from the horror of the Aztek. Pursey fits the its nose, wheel, wing, roll cage and stripes onto the Pontiac. The outcome: A design that will show up in your nightmares. Check out the gallery for the rest of the mashups, including the Humi (a Humvee and a Mini), Aston Smartin (Aston Martin and Smart), Rangerini (Range Rover and Lamborghini Aventador) and the Mazdafenda (Mazda MX-5 Miata and Land Rover Defender). They might not all be beautiful (or even pretty), but it's fun to imagine these oddball creations actually driving down the road. Featured Gallery Car Mashups News Source: CarwowImage Credit: James Pursey Design/Style Humor Lamborghini Pontiac Porsche ariel atom lamborghini miura pontiac aztek mashup