Now Is The Time! This Grand Prix Won't Last Long on 2040-cars

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This or That: 2005 Chrysler Crossfire SRT6 vs. 1984 Pontiac Fiero

Welcome to another round of This or That, where two Autoblog editors pick a topic, pick a side and pull no punches. Last round pitted yours truly against Associate Editor Brandon Turkus, and my chosen VW Vanagon Syncro narrowly defeated Brandon's 1987 Land Rover. In fact, it was, by far, the closest round we've seen, with 1,907 voters seeing things my way (for 50.8 percent of the vote) versus 1,848 votes for Brandon's Rover (49.2 percent). Sweet, sweet victory! For this latest round of This or That, I've roped Editor Greg Migliore into what I think is a rather fun debate. We've each chosen our favorite terrible cars, setting a price limit of $10,000 to make sure neither of us went too crazy with our automotive atrocities. I think we've both chosen terribly... and I mean that in the best way possible. 2005 Chrysler Crossfire SRT6 Jeremy Korzeniewski: Why It's Terrible: Taken in isolation, the Chrysler Crossfire isn't necessarily a terrible car. In fact, it drives pretty darn well, and there's a lot of solid engineering under its slinky shape. Problem is, that engineering was already rather long in the tooth well before Chrysler ever got its hands on it, having come from Mercedes-Benz, which used the basic chassis and drivetrain in a previous version of its SLK coupe and roadster. Granted, the SLK was an okay car, too, but even when new, it hardly set the world on fire with sporty driving dynamics. Chrysler took these decent-but-no-more bits and pieces from the Mercedes parts bin – remember, this car was conceived in the disastrous Merger Of Equals days – and covered them with a rather attractive hard-candy shell. Unfortunately, the super sporty shape wrote checks in the minds of buyers that its well-worn mechanicals were simply unable to cash, though an injection of power courtesy of a supercharged V6 engine in the SRT6 model, as seen here, certainly helped ease some of those woes. In the end, Chrysler was left with a so-called halo car that looked the part but never quite performed the part. It was almost universally panned by critics as an overpriced parts-bin special, which, I must add, was damningly accurate. As a result, sales were very slow, and within the first few months, dealers were clearancing the car at cut-rate prices, just to keep them from taking up too much of the showroom floor. Why It's Not That Terrible, After All: I can speak from personal experience when discussing the Chrysler Crossfire. You see, I owned one. Well, sort of...

Junkyard Gem: 1984 Pontiac Fiero with supercharged 3800 V6 swap

Like the Corvair, the Vega, and the Citation, the Pontiac Fiero was a very innovative machine that ended up causing General Motors more headaches than happiness, and Fiero aficionados and naysayers continue to beat each other with tire irons (figuratively speaking, I hope) to this day. The General has often proved willing to take the occasional big gamble and huge GM successes in engineering prowess (including the first overhead-valve V8 engine for the masses and the first real-world-usable true automatic transmission) and marketing brilliance (e.g., the Pontiac GTO and related John DeLorean home runs) meant that the idea of a mid-engined sporty economy car (or economical sports car) got a shot from the suits on the 14th floor. Sadly, the Fiero ended up being the marketplace victim of too many issues to get into here, and The General pulled the plug immediately after the 1988-model-year suspension redesign that made the Fiero the sports car it should have been all along. But what if the plastic Pontiac had never suffered from the misery of the gnashy, pokey Iron Duke engine and had been built from the start with a screaming supercharged V6 making way better than 200 horsepower? The final owner of today's Junkyard Gem sought to make that very Fiero, by dropping in one of the many supercharged 3.8-liter V6s installed in 1990s and 2000s GM factory hot rods. The first Fieros came out in 1983 for model year 1984, and the only engine available that year was the Iron Duke 2.5-liter four-cylinder, which generated its 92 horsepower with the full-throated song of a Soviet tractor stuck in the freezing mud of a Polish sugar-beet field. The 2M4 badging stood for "two seats, mid-engine, four cylinders," just as the numbers in the Oldsmobile 4-4-2 once represented "four carburetor barrels, four-speed manual transmission, dual exhaust." This car is a top-trim-level SE model, which listed for $9,599 (about $24,200 today). The no-frills Fiero cost just $7,999 that year, making these cars far cheaper than the only other reasonably affordable new mid-engined car Americans could buy at that time: the $13,990 Bertone (aka Fiat) X1/9. The Toyota MR2 appeared in North America as a 1985 model with a base price of $10,999 and promptly siphoned off the car-buying cash from a bunch of potential Fiero shoppers.

Junkyard Gem: 1980 Pontiac Phoenix LJ Hatchback

The car-building world was rushing headlong into front-wheel-drive by the late 1970s, eager to reap the weight-saving and space-enhancing benefits of front-drive designs. General Motors designed an innovative FWD platform to replace the embarrassingly outdated Chevrolet Nova and its siblings, and that ended up being the Chevrolet Citation. The other US-market GM car divisions (except Cadillac) got a piece of the X-Body action, and the Pontiac version was called the Phoenix. Here's one of those first-year Phoenixes, not doing a very good job of rising from its snow-covered ashes in a Colorado self-service yard. Pontiac had used the Phoenix name on a luxed-up iteration of Pontiac's version of the Chevy Nova during the 1977-1979 model years, and so it made sense to apply that name to the Pontiac-ized Citation. Phoenix production continued through the 1984 model year (the Citation managed to hang on through 1985). Just to confuse everyone, the Nova name was revived in 1985, on a NUMMI-built Toyota Corolla. The LJ trim level was the nicest one for the 1980 Phoenix, and it included lots of trim upgrades and convenience features. However, even Phoenix LJ buyers had to pay extra for a three-speed automatic transmission instead of the base four-on-the-floor manual ($337, or about $1,291 in 2022 dollars). If you wanted air conditioning, that was another $564 and you had to get the $164 power steering and the $76 power brakes with it (total cost in 2022 dollars: $3,080). Affordable cars weren't so affordable back then, not once you started adding basic options. Both generations of the Phoenix had grilles influenced by those of the Pontiacs of earlier years. The base engine was the chugging 2.5-liter Iron Duke four-cylinder, but a 2.8-liter V6 was optional. This car has the V6, rated at 115 horsepower rather than the Duke's miserable 90 horses. The price tag: 225 bucks, or 862 inflation-adjusted 2022 bucks. The Phoenix was available just as a two-door coupe and five-door hatchback. The MSRP on this car would have started at $6,127, or around $23,469 now. That would have been a pretty good deal even after paying for the options, with the Phoenix's excellent mix of good interior space and solid fuel economy… but the Citation and its kin (the Oldsmobile Omega and Buick Skylark as well as the Phoenix) suffered from seemingly endless, highly publicized recalls and quality problems.