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This junkyard '91 Grand Am is as hooptie as it gets

I spend a lot of time in junkyards. A lot of time. With all this experience, I have learned to recognize a perfect hooptie when I see one, a car whose final owner got every last bit of use out of it when its value was hovering right about at scrap value. This 1991 Pontiac Grand Am that I spotted in a San Francisco Bay Area self-service wrecking yard a few days ago, from the final model year for the third-generation Grand Am, checks all the hooptie boxes just right. First of all, it's a low-option coupe with the wretched and unloved GM Iron Duke engine, a rattly, gnashy, thrashy 2.5-liter four-cylinder kludged together using off-the-shelf parts from the Pontiac 301-cubic-inch V8 during the darkest years of the Malaise Era and used in cars whose buyers just didn't care. Most of the paint has been burned off by 25 years of harsh California sun, but the car spent sufficient time in a damp, shady spot for lichens to build up here and there. There are skeletons-with-sombreros stencils sprayed here and there, plus a big moonshine-guzzling skeleton mural painted on the hood. Goodbye, property values! Still, someone felt some affection for this car, giving it the name "Good Ol' Snakey" and painting that name on the decklid. We can assume that the Iron Duke was a bit loose by this time, probably leaving a serpentine trail of blue smoke behind the car at all times. So, the combination of cheapness, ugliness, menace, and who-gives-a-damn functionality make this Grand Am an excellent example of a pure hooptie. Within a couple of months, it will be crushed, shredded, shipped out of the Port of Oakland, and reborn in China as refrigerators and Geely Emgrands. Somewhere in Northern California, though, a few of Ol' Smokey's friends will remember this car fondly.

Junkyard Gem: 1992 Pontiac Firebird

Last spring, this series featured a 1992 Chevrolet Camaro RS in a Northern California junkyard, an example of the final model year for the highly successful third-generation GM F-Body. On a later visit to that yard, I spotted the Pontiac sibling to that car, a Firebird that was born the same year at the same Southern California factory. When the Chevrolet Division introduced the first Camaro as a 1967 model, the Pontiac Division got its own version of the F-Body called the Firebird. While the two cars were built on the same chassis and looked very similar, the first-generation Camaros got Chevrolet engines while their Firebird colleagues got Pontiac engines (including the innovative SOHC straight-six). The 1970-1981 second-generation Firebirds still had some Pontiac-only engines, but Chevrolet and Oldsmobile power crept under some hoods during that period. The third-generation Firebirds first appeared as 1982 models, and they drew from near-identical stockpiles of GM running gear (including the distinctly agricultural Iron Duke four-banger, which could be considered a Pontiac-derived engine). When the Camaro got the axe after 2002, the Firebird's neck was put on the same chopping block. When the Camaro returned for 2010, the Pontiac brand was sputtering to an agonized halt during its final year and there was no chance of the Firebird's return. This car is a fairly ordinary coupe, though it does have the mid-grade 205-horsepower 5.0-liter Chevrolet small-block V8 instead of the base 140-horse 3.1-liter V6. A 5.7-liter small-block was available as well. A five-speed manual transmission was base equipment, but few Americans wanted a three-pedal setup by the early 1990s. This car has the optional four-speed automatic. The MSRP with 5.0 engine, automatic transmission and air conditioning (which this car has) started at $14,304. That's about $31,868 in 2023 dollars. It was built at Van Nuys Assembly in the San Fernando Valley of Los Angeles County. By the dawn of the 1990s, the Camaros and Firebirds made at Van Nuys Assembly had become known as the worst-built GM cars made in North America, and the plant was shut down forever soon after this car was built. Today, a shopping mall lives where the factory once stood. This car managed to drive more than 150,000 miles during its life, so it beat the odds. The thrid-gen F-Body was pretty antiquated by the early 1990s, but the fourth-gen cars handled better and looked up-to-date for the era.

Pontiac should come back as a performance division for GM

For decades the Pontiac brand was known as GM's performance brand. From the 1964 Pontiac GTO, to the 1967 Firebird, to the 1984 Fiero, to the 2006 Solstice Turbo, and 2009 G8 GXP, Pontiac had a reputation for building exciting cars, with bold styling and performance to back it up. When the Camaro was killed off in 2002, the Pontiac Firebird died off with it, and the last Pontiacs were built in early 2010. But with names like G3, G4, and G6, Pontiac's performance image had long faded from it's earlier glory days. My idea for Pontiac's revival would be to bring it back as a dedicated performance marque similar to Chevy's Super Sport (SS) line up of years past. First, and most obvious would be to bring back the Pontiac Firebird. Offering the entry-level model with the Camaro's 275HP turbo 4 cylinder engine, then having the Camaro SS's 455HP V8, but also offering a halo model Trans Am that is a revamped Camaro ZL-1 along with it's tire-shredding 650HP, supercharged V8 and race tuned suspension. Secondly, I would bring back the GTO. Which I would base on the current Chevy SS, but I would use the full 455-horsepower LS4 V8 (rather than the 415-hp setup that it has now). Furthermore, I would add the impressive 650-hp supercharged V8 to provide real competition to the Charger Hellcat. Importantly, I would make sure that the new GTO had bold, distinctive styling that really set it apart. I understand that purists would want any Pontiac GTO to be a two-door coupe, but I think that they could forgive that if the new GTO was an outstanding American performance car. Next, I would take the Buick Cascada convertible, add much bolder styling, swap in the Camaro's 275-hp turbo engine, and tune up the suspension to provide more performance than luxury (without being harsh). And finally I would round out the line up by using the new 2018 Traverse , but use the new, bold Pontiac design language to spice up the model's looks, tweak the engines for more power, and again provide a performance suspension that matches the model's new sporty looks. Obviously, having a high performance Pontiac model line up would steal away some sales from Chevy, Buick, and Cadillac models. But I think that it would more than make up for this by also stealing away sales from competing brands. Related Video: Image Credit: Copyright 2012 Drew Phillips / AOL Pontiac Classics brands open road