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This junkyard '91 Grand Am is as hooptie as it gets

I spend a lot of time in junkyards. A lot of time. With all this experience, I have learned to recognize a perfect hooptie when I see one, a car whose final owner got every last bit of use out of it when its value was hovering right about at scrap value. This 1991 Pontiac Grand Am that I spotted in a San Francisco Bay Area self-service wrecking yard a few days ago, from the final model year for the third-generation Grand Am, checks all the hooptie boxes just right. First of all, it's a low-option coupe with the wretched and unloved GM Iron Duke engine, a rattly, gnashy, thrashy 2.5-liter four-cylinder kludged together using off-the-shelf parts from the Pontiac 301-cubic-inch V8 during the darkest years of the Malaise Era and used in cars whose buyers just didn't care. Most of the paint has been burned off by 25 years of harsh California sun, but the car spent sufficient time in a damp, shady spot for lichens to build up here and there. There are skeletons-with-sombreros stencils sprayed here and there, plus a big moonshine-guzzling skeleton mural painted on the hood. Goodbye, property values! Still, someone felt some affection for this car, giving it the name "Good Ol' Snakey" and painting that name on the decklid. We can assume that the Iron Duke was a bit loose by this time, probably leaving a serpentine trail of blue smoke behind the car at all times. So, the combination of cheapness, ugliness, menace, and who-gives-a-damn functionality make this Grand Am an excellent example of a pure hooptie. Within a couple of months, it will be crushed, shredded, shipped out of the Port of Oakland, and reborn in China as refrigerators and Geely Emgrands. Somewhere in Northern California, though, a few of Ol' Smokey's friends will remember this car fondly.

This Auto Aerobics car art ties our brains in knots like pretzels

We like cars, and we like art. Naturally, Chris Labrooy's Auto Aerobics series - computer-generated images of some seriously contorted 1968 Pontiac Bonnevilles floating in mid-air - instantly clicked with us. If the Pontiacs weren't floating or hollow, we could be fooled into believing the image is real. But where's the fun in that?
Check out the gallery we included of Labrooy's Bonneville art, and feel free too head over to his website for some Formula One humor.

Pontiac should come back as a performance division for GM

For decades the Pontiac brand was known as GM's performance brand. From the 1964 Pontiac GTO, to the 1967 Firebird, to the 1984 Fiero, to the 2006 Solstice Turbo, and 2009 G8 GXP, Pontiac had a reputation for building exciting cars, with bold styling and performance to back it up. When the Camaro was killed off in 2002, the Pontiac Firebird died off with it, and the last Pontiacs were built in early 2010. But with names like G3, G4, and G6, Pontiac's performance image had long faded from it's earlier glory days. My idea for Pontiac's revival would be to bring it back as a dedicated performance marque similar to Chevy's Super Sport (SS) line up of years past. First, and most obvious would be to bring back the Pontiac Firebird. Offering the entry-level model with the Camaro's 275HP turbo 4 cylinder engine, then having the Camaro SS's 455HP V8, but also offering a halo model Trans Am that is a revamped Camaro ZL-1 along with it's tire-shredding 650HP, supercharged V8 and race tuned suspension. Secondly, I would bring back the GTO. Which I would base on the current Chevy SS, but I would use the full 455-horsepower LS4 V8 (rather than the 415-hp setup that it has now). Furthermore, I would add the impressive 650-hp supercharged V8 to provide real competition to the Charger Hellcat. Importantly, I would make sure that the new GTO had bold, distinctive styling that really set it apart. I understand that purists would want any Pontiac GTO to be a two-door coupe, but I think that they could forgive that if the new GTO was an outstanding American performance car. Next, I would take the Buick Cascada convertible, add much bolder styling, swap in the Camaro's 275-hp turbo engine, and tune up the suspension to provide more performance than luxury (without being harsh). And finally I would round out the line up by using the new 2018 Traverse , but use the new, bold Pontiac design language to spice up the model's looks, tweak the engines for more power, and again provide a performance suspension that matches the model's new sporty looks. Obviously, having a high performance Pontiac model line up would steal away some sales from Chevy, Buick, and Cadillac models. But I think that it would more than make up for this by also stealing away sales from competing brands. Related Video: Image Credit: Copyright 2012 Drew Phillips / AOL Pontiac Classics brands open road