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Man sells testicle to buy Nissan 370Z

We aren't entirely sure what's stranger about this story - that a man actually sold a vital piece of his manhood for a car, or that he did it for a Nissan 370Z. That's not to discredit the trusty Fairlady, a car we generally like, but that if we were to do what Mark Parisi did and sell one of his testicles to science, we'd be asking for a helluva lot more than $35,000.
But Parisi did just that, and announced live on CBS' The Doctors (we really can't make this up) that the sale of his nut would go towards the purchase of a Z. According to our friends Down Under (Australia, get your mind out of the gutter), $35K is the going rate for one slightly used testicle, so if you get nothing else from this story, gentlemen, know that you have $70,000 swinging between your legs.

This month's deals on wheels: 3 cars with incentives, rebates

On television, they come at you rapid-fire: truck deals, car deals, SUV deals. You don't have time to read the fine print, and many sound too good to be true. What follows are three deals that are both good and true. And check out our entire list of incentives and rebates. VOLKSWAGEN JETTA: With Dieselgate winding down and VW's all-new three-row SUV – the Atlas – winding up, Volkswagen is selling sedans with incentives. The Jetta remains VW's bestseller in the US. If you're looking for an immodest deal on modest transportation, you can do worse than a lease on the 2017 Jetta S. THE DETAILS: Purchase at 0.9% APR (no down payment required, available on new 2017 Jetta models financed by Volkswagen Credit, participating dealers only). At that rate, you could save $1,600 over the life of a loan. Offer ends May 1, but given the tepid market interest in sedans, incentives will probably continue through the balance of the model year. NISSAN TITAN CREW CAB: While some buyers will wait for Nissan's recently announced Titan King Cab, and commercial users will grab the regular cab and 8-foot bed, we'll recommend a lightly optioned 4X4 crew cab with standard V8 power, California-penned sheetmetal and a made-in-America footprint. Nissan's full-size pickup is finally a credible competitor in the pickup segment. THE DETAILS: With $3,500 cash back, on top of whatever deal you negotiate, Nissan is effectively reducing the window sticker of a Titan S crew cab by almost 10 percent. MITSUBISHI OUTLANDER: Some cars show up on buyers' radar, some don't. Some aren't anywhere near the radar room. Mitsubishi's Outlander is one of those. But that doesn't diminish its basic attractiveness, especially for young families looking for an affordable three-row SUV with responsive power and competitive features. Add one of the industry's longest warranties and a compelling deal, and you suddenly have reason to track down a Mitsubishi dealer. THE DETAILS: It couldn't be simpler – negotiate your best deal on a 2017 Mitsubishi Outlander, and then receive a $2,000 rebate; on a remaining 2016, it's $3,000. We'd select a fully-equipped GT 3.0S – AWC, which hooks Mitsubishi's V6 to a conventional automatic (vs. a CVT on lower-priced models) and all-wheel drive. That's a window sticker of about $34,000, and you can count on an aggressive posture by the dealer to get your business. Mitsubishi Nissan Volkswagen Car Buying Buying Guide Truck SUV Sedan

Nismo toying with crossovers and pickups

Nissan is apparently committed to turning its racing and tuning division into a bigger player, with new Nismo models coming out all the time. But while the Nismo division has until now focused primarily on hatchbacks and sports cars, the next project could be a truck. According to Aussie website CarAdvice in speaking to Nissan marketing chief Darren Cox and Nismo boss Shoichi Miyatani, the prospect of a Nismo-tuned SUV or pickup are definitely on the table. That could include a performance-oriented take on the Navara pickup, but also the Qashqai crossover – a prospect first mooted a year ago. And if the Qashqai and Navara are under consideration, there's no telling what Nismo might do with the likes of the Frontier, Rogue, Murano or even the Pathfinder. None of that is concrete at the moment, of course, but the market for performance crossovers seems only to be growing – and growing more accessible, too. The Germans keep making smaller crossovers and performance variants thereof, and even Fiat is said to be working on an Abarth version of the 500X. The Juke Nismo itself bridges the gap between hot hatches and performance crossovers, but apart from the 370Z Nismo and GT-R Nismo, most of the division's projects seem to be focusing on hatchbacks like the Pulsar and Versa Note.