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2015 Mini Cooper stuns crowd, itself [w/videos]

Remember the Mini Rocketman concept from 2011? While we were really, really hoping for a production version - a properly mini Mini - that never happened. And it won't. But what we are getting is a whole lot of that showcar's styling cues applied to the third-generation Mini Cooper hardtop, a model making its debut here at the LA Auto Show. And while from most angles, the new Mini is as cute as ever, we just can't quite warm up to that face - or that huge front overhang. The car simply looks like a frightened goldfish (that yellow paint isn't helping, either).
The car simply looks like a frightened goldfish (that yellow paint isn't helping, either).
It should probably be pretty nice to drive, though, with the base Cooper using a new turbocharged 1.5-liter three-cylinder engine good for 134 horsepower and 162 pound-feet of torque. Friskier Cooper S models get a healthy power increase, their 2.0-liter turbo engines putting out a full 189 hp and 207 lb-ft, with both engines are mated to either a six-speed manual or automatic transmission.

BMW i3s traction control tech going in all BMW, Mini cars

The BMW i3s is essentially a warmed-up version of the i3 electric car we all know and love. The performance boost isn't huge — just 14 horsepower and 15 pound-feet of torque — but it also gets a new suspension, wheels and tires as well as an improved traction control system. We found the car to benefit from all the updates when we drove it for our First Drive Review, but now BMW has offered up more details on just how the traction control system of the i3s helps make it better to drive. The company says it'll expand the technology to all future BMW and Mini models as well. The i3s's system is calibrated to help it to pull away quickly from a stop, making full use of the instantaneous torque offered by the electric motor. It also improves stability when accelerating out of corners, when using regenerative braking and, of course, when the road conditions are less than ideal. The results are palpable, and with the other improvements the i3s definitely feels stronger off the line, as we found on our drive. It's also about a half-second quicker to 60 miles per hour, at 6.8 seconds. The secret is in the response time of the stability control, which BMW claims is 50 times faster than the conventional system. This is made possible by moving the control process into the powertrain itself, rather than a remote unit. This reduces the signal path and, thus, the response time of the traction control system. BMW's Head of Chassis Development, Peter Langen, said of it, "With their high levels of torque and instantaneous responses to every movement of the accelerator, electric motors already make significantly higher demands on driving stability systems than conventional power units." While engineered to make the most of the electric motor, BMW says the shorter cycles of this traction control system show promise for internal combustion vehicles as well. As such, we'll begin to see the improved technology applied across the BMW and Mini lineups going forward. Related Video:

2014 Mini John Cooper Works Countryman All4

The standard Mini Countryman is a bit of an odd duck against the backdrop of 'normal' small crossovers like the Mazda CX-5 and the Ford Escape, but I sort of get it. Apply the same winning Mini formula to a CUV, and you get a smaller-than-average entry in the segment, one that is far more entertaining to drive than the norm, more stylish inside and out and pretty expensive when cross-shopped. That list of qualities doesn't appeal to all crossover shoppers, sure, but it intrigues a big enough list that the Countryman has reason for being.
Now, add the expensive John Cooper Works package to the Countryman's already niche goodies list, and Mini starts to lose me. So, I'm getting the softer suspended, taller, generally less dynamically joyful version of the brand's core values, but now you're charging me at least $35,000 ($13k more expensive than the basic, front-drive Cooper Countryman and $7k more than the MSRP of the Cooper S All4 version)? What's that? You're going to make it look like a garish, tippy-toed tuner car in the process? Take my money.
Or, actually, let me keep it. I can swing with a lot of the weirdness that Mini has to offer, but this car pushed me past my limit.