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What do you do with a fake Bugatti Veyron for $60k?

Replica cars are a challenging labor of love because builders spend countless hours recreating a vehicle that people immediately compare to the real thing. Perhaps, the person behind this Mercury Cougar-based Bugatti Veyron should look for another way to pass that time. The coupe is currently for sale on eBay Motors for $59,900. The builder deserves some credit because the fiberglass body looks acceptable in the photos from farther away. The car might even fool a few people from a distance. However, the devil is in the details, and the closer you look, the worse this gets. The side intakes are especially rough. The red interior is atrocious. It's essentially the Cougar's cabin but in an eye-searing shade accented with lots of fake carbon fiber. The seller's eBay Motors ad really tries to market the look, though. "You slide in to [sic] this extremely comfortable leather interior and you feel like your bank account just quadrupled in size," the listing says. Don't expect to win any top speed titles in this Veyron replica, either. Rather than a mid-mounted quad-turbo W16, a 3.0-liter V6 from a Mercury Sable sits at the front. Thanks to an upgraded intake and exhaust, the seller claims, "It doesn't sound like your grandmas [sic] Sable." We wish the seller the best of luck, but the asking price of nearly $60,000 is probably too optimistic. We would still think twice about buying it even after taking a zero off that figure, but at least this thing is fun to look at. Related Video:

Junkyard Gem: 1992 Mercury Grand Marquis LS

We've all been seeing the instantly familiar Ford Crown Victoria P71 Police Interceptor on North American roads for what seems like forever, though in fact the very first of the aerodynamic Crown Vics didn't appear until a mere 31 years ago. Yes, after more than a decade of boxy LTD Crown Victorias, Dearborn took the late-1970s-vintage Panther platform and added a brand-new, Taurus-influenced smooth body and modern overhead-cam V8 engine, giving us the 1992 Ford Crown Victoria. The rule was, since 1939, that (nearly) every Ford model needed a corresponding Mercury, and so the Mercury Division applied different grille and taillights and the rejuvenated Grand Marquis was born. Here's one of the first of those cars to be built, now residing in a Denver-area self-service boneyard. The Marquis name goes respectably far back, to the late 1960s and a Mercurized version of the Ford LTD hardtop. The Grand Marquis began life as the name for an interior trim package on the 1974 Marquis Brougham (also LTD-based), eventually becoming a model in its own right for the 1979 model year. Today's Junkyard Gem came off the Ontario assembly line in March 1991, making one of the very first examples built. For 1992 (and through 2011), the Grand Marquis was a Crown Victoria with slightly enhanced bragging rights. This one has the top-grade LS trim, with an MSRP of $20,644 (that's about $44,370 in inflation-adjusted 2022 dollars). The corresponding Ford-badged model (built on the same assembly line by the same workers) would have been the Crown Victoria LX, which actually cost a bit more: $20,987 ($44,910 now). The very cheapest civilian 1992 Crown Vic cost just $19,563 ($42,045 today). There weren't any powertrain differences between the Crown Victoria and Grand Marquis in 1992. The only engine available was this Modular 4.6 SOHC V8, rated at either 190 (single exhaust) or 210 (dual exhaust) horsepower. The transmission was a four-speed automatic with overdrive. How many miles are on this one? Can't say! Based on the worn-out interior, I'm going to guess 221,719 miles passed beneath this car's wheels during its 32-plus years on the road. I've seen some very high-mile Police Interceptors, of course, including one with 412,013 miles, but Ford didn't go to six-digit odometers in the Grand Marquis until a bit deeper into the 1990s. Thanks to flawed speech-to-text applications on smartphones, the Grand Marquis is known as the "Grandma Keith" to many of us today.

Junkyard Gem: 1973 Mercury Marquis Brougham 4-Door Pillared Hardtop

Ford's Mercury Division debuted the Marquis in the 1967 model year, as a sporty coupe based on a stretched Ford LTD chassis. When the LTD got an update for 1969, so did the Marquis, and production of that generation of the top-of-the-line Mercury continued through 1978 (the Grand Marquis hit streets the following year). The 1969-1978 Marquis was a big, imposing land yacht, and the Brougham version came absolutely loaded with affordable luxury. Today's Junkyard Gem is a Marquis Brougham from the first year of the Malaise Era, found in a Phoenix self-service car graveyard recently. This car appears to have spent decades sitting outdoors in one of the harshest climates in the country, and so it's in rough shape. The vinyl top received the full thermonuclear treatment and is mostly obliterated by now. The interior got thoroughly cooked as well. Still, its original opulence shines through if you use some imagination. What hurts is that this car was packed with most of the good options, including the mighty 460-cubic-inch (7.5-liter) V8 engine with four-barrel carburetor. The price for the 460 was just $76 in this car, or around $548 in today's money. The base engine was a 429 (7.0-liter). Power numbers were way down for 1973 when compared to a couple of years earlier, partly as the result of tightening emissions standards but mostly due to the switch from gross to net power ratings that began midway during 1971 and was completed by the end of 1972. This engine was rated at 202 horsepower and 330 pound-feet. The only transmission available was a three-speed automatic. We can assume that the original buyer of this car and its single-digit fuel economy had a rough time when the OPEC oil embargo hit in the fall of 1973. Believe it or not, air conditioning was not standard equipment on the '73 Marquis Brougham (you had to move up to a Lincoln for that). This one even has the automatic temperature control feature, adding a total of $508 to the cost of this car (about $3,661 in 2023 dollars). That AM/FM/8-track radio—or, in fact, any radio—was an extra-cost option as well, with a price tag of $363 ($2,616 after inflation). The MSRP for the 1973 Marquis Brougham sedan (known as a "pillared hardtop" thanks to the frameless window glass) was $5,072, which comes to $36,555 in today's dollars. Obviously, its out-the-door cost would have been much higher with all the options.