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Race Recap: 2013 Japanese Grand Prix flips several scripts [spoilers]

Japan's Suzuka circuit is a great track that all the drivers love, but it doesn't usually provide the most thrilling, head-to-head racing. Where it does excel, however, is with surprises and "What just happened there?!" moments, and this year it was no different.
It started with Mark Webber in his Infiniti Red Bull Racing out-qualifying his teammate Sebastian Vettel for the first time this year. They were followed closely by Lewis Hamilton in the first Mercedes-AMG Petronas, the still-solid Romain Grosjean again outdoing teammate Kimi Räikkönen, Felipe Massa racing for another seat in Formula One and putting his Ferrari in fifth, then Nico Rosberg in the second Mercedes, Nico Hülkenberg in the first Sauber, Fernando Alonso in the second Ferrari, and Räikkönen continuing to do himself no favors by qualifying tenth.
For the second year in a row, the lights going out was the cue to start the first corner action...

The Mercedes-Maybach Pullman Guard is a limo with a bulletproof vest

As fabulously plush as the Mercedes-Maybach Pullman is, there is a certain class of individual for which luxury is only part of the equation. Oligarchs, dictators, kingpins of questionable businesses, and probably some legitimate world leaders all love luxury, but they sometimes face some hairy commutes that demand a bit more protection. For them, the answer to their luxury car needs is the armored Pullman Guard. The Mercedes-Maybach Pullman Guard tops the line of S-Class Guard models that also includes the Mercedes-Benz S600 Guard and the Mercedes-Maybach S600 Guard. Like the non-armored Pullman it packs loads of leather, seats with practically infinite adjustability, and redundant gauges for rear passengers. It is also by far the longest S-Class vehicle available, stretching more than 40 inches longer than the next-longest Mercedes-Maybach. This tremendous length allows the Pullman Guard to have four-passenger seating in the rear, with two seats facing two others. It's the perfect place to sign treaties or entertain diplomats. Or, if foreign affairs aren't your speed, it would also be a convenient place to carve up territory, issue ultimatums to enemies, and intimidate dissidents. The Pullman Guard was developed alongside the standard Pullman, and because of that, the added armor does not sacrifice interior space. The armor does affect weight, though. The Pullman Guard weighs over 11,000 pounds. But, in return, the steel plates on the sides and floor, non-Kevlar-brand high-strength fabrics, and polycarbonate-backed windows protect occupants from bullets and explosives. Plus, the Pullman Guard features a twin-turbo V12 that produces 530 horsepower and 612 lb-ft of torque to haul the added ballast around. If a recognized authority is ordering a Pullman Guard, Mercedes also offers sirens, flashing lights, two-way radios, an emergency starter battery, and a loudspeaker system. These items are sure to be useful when trying to navigate seas of protestors in the streets. All of this extra protection will cost you though, and if you have to ask, you definitely can't afford it. But we'll tell you the price anyway. A standard Pullman will run around $500,000 at current exchange rates. For the Guard model, be prepared to shell out about $1.56 million. It's a steep price for sure, but for those whose pampered lives are in danger, it's probably worth it.

Mercedes S-Class Magic Body Control ad is clucking awesome

This is a new ad from Mercedes-Benz. At no point does it show an automobile. Instead, it stars animals, but not the sort you might normally see in car commercial. This ad is all about chickens. It is bizarre, to say the least, with Diana Ross and the Supremes belting it out in the background, but it all kind of comes together when you realize just what Mercedes is hawking (yeah, pun intended).
It's for the manufacturer's Magic Body Control, found on the new S-Class. The system basically analyzes the road and prepares the suspension accordingly, leading to a ride that is, in the words of our own Chris Paukert "nothing short of spooky." You can read about it in our full review of the 2014 S550. Take a look below for the 53-second spot.