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Buy a V8 Mercedes-Maybach, or splurge for a V12? Oh to have such problems

There's a certain air that surrounds the Maybach badge, and it's not just the scent being pumped out by the ionizer in the car's glovebox. It's the cream of the crop when it comes to German luxury. These cars are filled with an acre's worth of wood and a herd's worth of cows, ensuring your fingers rarely touch materials as pedestrian as plastic. It's as quiet, as smooth, and as imposing as you think it would be. Though the latest model from Mercedes-Maybach, the S550, might have swapped in a V8 and all-wheel drive in place of the V12 at the heart of the S600, no other amenities have been lost in translation. The car's size gives it a certain presence. Staring at the profile shows a wheelbase that spans two counties, necessitating a microphone and speaker setup simply so that the driver can converse with the passenger – and a Maybach will almost always have a passenger. No one buys a Maybach to drive. You buy a Maybach to be driven. No means of transport short of business-class airline seating offers this much space. Sit back, recline the seat, roll up the shades and enjoy your $167,125 cocoon. But you know all of that already. What you really want to know is if $25,000 - the V12-powered S600 starts at $192,225 - is worth it to gain an extra four cylinders, 74 horsepower, and 96 lb-ft of torque. On paper, no, it's not. The two cars have identical performance numbers, and the S550 benefits from Mercedes' 4Matic all-wheel-drive system. Even with all-wheel drive, the S550 weighs less than the nose-heavy S600. Fuel economy is, as expected, superior in the S550. It's rated at 16 city, 24 highway and 19 combined as opposed to 13 city, 21 highway, and 16 combined. Visually, the two cars are identical save for a few badges. The V12 badge on the S600 is replaced with a 4Matic badge on the S550, and that's where things start to get murky. When you're spending six figures on a car, decisions become more emotional than practical. $25,000 is a lot of money, but there's a bigger difference between $25,000 and $50,000 than there is between $167,000 and $192,000. As stated, you don't buy these cars to drive. Performance needs to be merely adequate. A smooth, torquey V12 is likely preferable to a hairy-chested V8, refined as it may be. These cars will never touch redline, lest the passengers spill their champagne. Plus, that V12 badge is worth its weight in country club memberships. Driving an S550 is fine until an owner shows up at an event behind an S600.

The Mercedes-Maybach Pullman Guard is a limo with a bulletproof vest

As fabulously plush as the Mercedes-Maybach Pullman is, there is a certain class of individual for which luxury is only part of the equation. Oligarchs, dictators, kingpins of questionable businesses, and probably some legitimate world leaders all love luxury, but they sometimes face some hairy commutes that demand a bit more protection. For them, the answer to their luxury car needs is the armored Pullman Guard. The Mercedes-Maybach Pullman Guard tops the line of S-Class Guard models that also includes the Mercedes-Benz S600 Guard and the Mercedes-Maybach S600 Guard. Like the non-armored Pullman it packs loads of leather, seats with practically infinite adjustability, and redundant gauges for rear passengers. It is also by far the longest S-Class vehicle available, stretching more than 40 inches longer than the next-longest Mercedes-Maybach. This tremendous length allows the Pullman Guard to have four-passenger seating in the rear, with two seats facing two others. It's the perfect place to sign treaties or entertain diplomats. Or, if foreign affairs aren't your speed, it would also be a convenient place to carve up territory, issue ultimatums to enemies, and intimidate dissidents. The Pullman Guard was developed alongside the standard Pullman, and because of that, the added armor does not sacrifice interior space. The armor does affect weight, though. The Pullman Guard weighs over 11,000 pounds. But, in return, the steel plates on the sides and floor, non-Kevlar-brand high-strength fabrics, and polycarbonate-backed windows protect occupants from bullets and explosives. Plus, the Pullman Guard features a twin-turbo V12 that produces 530 horsepower and 612 lb-ft of torque to haul the added ballast around. If a recognized authority is ordering a Pullman Guard, Mercedes also offers sirens, flashing lights, two-way radios, an emergency starter battery, and a loudspeaker system. These items are sure to be useful when trying to navigate seas of protestors in the streets. All of this extra protection will cost you though, and if you have to ask, you definitely can't afford it. But we'll tell you the price anyway. A standard Pullman will run around $500,000 at current exchange rates. For the Guard model, be prepared to shell out about $1.56 million. It's a steep price for sure, but for those whose pampered lives are in danger, it's probably worth it.

2016 Italian Grand Prix race recap

The Italian Grand Prix at Monza is called the Temple of Power. Furthermore, the winning driver in Italy started on pole in 13 of the last 16 years, and only one driver in that time has won the Italian GP from behind the front row of the grid: Rubens Barrichello in 2002 and 2009. By this point in the current Formula 1 season (era?) we know what it means when a track emphasizes both power and pole position: Mercedes-AMG Petronas. The Silver Arrows locked out the front row with Lewis Hamilton on pole. A poor start prevented the Briton from capitalizing on the advantage, so teammate Nico Rosberg and four other drivers swept by him before the end of the second turn. Mercedes would later say a clutch issue caused Hamilton's botched start, but that didn't help the man who'd just fallen to sixth place. Rosberg got about two laps of television coverage on his way to an unbothered victory ahead of Hamilton. Ferrari made Hamilton's second-place finish easier by sticking to a two-stop strategy; both Mercedes drivers pitted once. We aren't sure why Ferrari didn't at least attempt a one-stopper once Sebastian Vettel and Kimi Raikkonen had been gifted second and third on track. A pit stop took about 23 seconds from entry to exit and Vettel finished third, six seconds behind Hamilton. Raikkonen finished fourth, another seven seconds behind Vettel. Perhaps the Scuderia's tire usage wouldn't allow longer stints, but we'll never know. Daniel Ricciardo wielded his Red Bull like a scalpel to make an impeccable pass on Valtteri Bottas in the Williams and take fifth place. Ricciardo, trailing another Italian province behind, somehow closed the gap on Bottas in just the braking zone of Turn 1, pulling alongside near the apex without locking a wheel on entry nor running wide on exit. Bottas claimed sixth ahead of Red Bull's Max Verstappen, Sergio Perez in the Force India, Felipe Massa in the second Williams, and Nico Hulkenberg in the second Force India sealing the top ten. Monza did spring a few on-track surprises. Esteban Gutierrez drove Haas F1 into Q3 for the first time this season, the Mexican setting the sixth-best time in Q2. Manor Racing planned for Monza all season, Pascal Wehrlein repaying the effort by qualifying 13th. Fernando Alonso pitted his McLaren on Lap 50 of the 53-lap race for a set of super soft Pirellis, then set the fastest lap. It's Honda's first fastest lap since 1992. The biggest moments happened off the track.