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This or That: Mercedes S-Class 350SD vs. 2003 Jaguar XJR [w/poll]

Budget. It's a wretched word, whether you're going out to eat, shipping for a new outfit or, more relevant to today's discussion, buying a car. Massive marketing machines have convinced us, as a population, to buy the best you can afford, repercussions be damned – If you've saved up some money, spend it! All of it, on whatever it is that currently sits atop your personal Amazon wishlist, be it a Timex that takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin', a $17,000 Gold Apple Watch or a $60,000 Rolex Cosmograph Daytona. But what if the best you can afford is... say, $12,815? For that price, you can buy a brand-new 2015 Nissan Versa (including destination), assuming you're happy with zero options and a manual transmission. For that price, you'll get standard air conditioning, a CD player and... well, a warranty. Pretty sensible choice, Captain Frugal. But also ridiculously uninspired. And so that brings us to today's edition of This or That, in which two Autoblog editors pick differing sides of an argument and duke it out to see which one of us can convince you, dear reader, is better. Or at least less wrong. You be the judge. As a refresher, I'm two-and-two on these challenges, having lost the first and second editions before storming back in rounds three and four. Today, as alluded to above, we decided to throw our collective brainpower (oh lord, what have we done?) at what may be the single most difficult question currently confounding the best minds our planet has to offer: What is the best used used luxury car you can buy for the price of a 2015 Nissan Versa? Shall we meet our contenders? Allow me to introduce you to the most perfect luxury car money can buy (assuming the amount of money you're holding is equal to the amount of the cheapest new car currently sold in America, the Nissan Versa). My pick is the 1991 Mercedes-Benz S-Class. Not just any S-Class, but the legendary W126, which was produced between 1979 and 1992. And not just any W126, either, but one powered by a 3.5-liter turbodiesel engine. And with that, I send the argument to my esteemed colleague, Associate Editor Chris Bruce. Bruce: Jeremy, we had over $12,000 to budget for this challenge, and the best you can manage is a 24-year-old diesel Mercedes? I love oil-burners as much as any other auto writer with their mountains of torque and huge cruising range, but you're making this too easy on me. Also, you're really choosing a brown, diesel, German luxury sedan?

Autoblog drives to the Arctic Circle

In Which Mercedes' Sprinter Becomes A Long-Distance Sherpa
In the wintery wilds of northern Alaska, even the cute little critters want to kill you.
As I am about to nod off on my long leg flight from Minneapolis to Anchorage ahead of driving to the Arctic Circle, the friendly twenty-something Alaskan knitting furiously in the seat next to me pauses and says, "When you're driving up there, don't open your windows." In the dead of winter? I hadn't planned on cruising alfresco, but her warning to keep the glazing snugged against the weatherstripping is one I would take to heart. She continues: "If you leave 'em open, a fox is liable to jump right in. There are lots of rabid foxes up there, and they leap into your car and just Go. To. Town." And here I was, thinking that a curious bear or maybe an ill-placed moose in the road was going to be my biggest potential four-legged threat. In the wintery wilds of northern Alaska, even the cute little critters want to kill you.

The Scaldarsi Emperor I is a Mercedes-Maybach S600 taken to 11 on the bad-taste scale

The custom car world is filled with vehicles designed by people that don't know when to quit. The Scaldarsi Emperor I, shown here in all its awful rose-gold glory, appears to have been designed by an enthusiast of the KFC Double Down. It's a hideous creation and we can't let it pass without saying so. We also can't look away. Scaldarsi's so-called "artists" have thoroughly reworked what was a perfectly wonderful Mercedes-Maybach S600. In addition to the 24-karat rose gold accents, the company has crafted a new front fascia and modified the side and rear treatments. Inside, the general S600 shape remains, but new leather and wood cover nearly every surface. Your insane imagination will not be tamed, as there are 24 colors for the leather, 24 types of animal hides, 78 types of wood, and 16 exterior body colors available. The result, at least in the publicity shots, is a mix of awkward textures and seats that look like a pile of colorful marshmallows. Those interested in purchasing an Emperor I can option custom-engraved champagne glasses, matching tote bags, and even an Emperor Edition Rolex watch. If the standard key fob is too common for your taste, they'll make you one custom. Watch out for that Scaldarsi logo, though – it looks mean enough to rip through your pocket and take a chunk out of your leg. We will give Scaldarsi credit for wisely letting Brabus handle the power. The Emperor I uses the 6.3-liter twin-turbocharged V12 from the Brabus Rocket 900. This 888-horsepower monster is a tuned version of the V12 AMG uses in the S65, SL65, and G65. The Emperor I has an estimated 0-60 mph time of just 3.7 seconds, which is quick enough to leave stoplights before anyone recognizes you behind the wheel. Scaldarsi is asking a mere $1.5 million for each of 10 examples being created. If you miss out on the Emperor I or are some kind of twisted completist that needs one of each, this just the first in a series of customs the company will offer. Next up is the Emperor II (a Mercedes-AMG S65 Coupe), which will be followed by the Emperor III (Bentley Bentayga), Emperor IV (Mercedes-AMG G65), and Emperor V (Bugatti Chiron). Lord help us all. This content is hosted by a third party. To view it, please update your privacy preferences. Manage Settings. Related Video: This content is hosted by a third party. To view it, please update your privacy preferences. Manage Settings.