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The 2017 Mercedes-Benz E-Class is a technological tour de force [w/video]

UPDATE: It turns out we won't get the Park Pilot remote parking feature after all. The Mercedes-Benz engineers in Germany said we would, but an update from the US product team says otherwise. The reason, according the Mercedes-Benz, is that remote parking is a feature of Mercedes connect me, the smartphone connected services app used in other countries. Merceds currently offers MBrace in the United States. This could change over the life cycle of the E-Class, but no announcements have been made. The text below is updated to reflect this new information. If there's a theme to the next Mercedes-Benz E-Class, it's technology stuff. No "and," no hashtag. Just technology stuff. The car is so loaded with new and updated features that it eclipses the S-Class as the brand's leading edge automobile just two years after the flagship's debut. The world of automotive technology is progressing at an exponential rate akin to Moore's Law, and the E-Class is at the front of the curve. For the sake of brevity (and totally not for SEO gamesmanship), the 2017 E-Class has so many new and improved features we're just going to list them: remote control parking via a smartphone app, NFC-based unlock and vehicle start using your smartphone, 84-LED adaptive headlights, Vehicle-to-X communication, evasive maneuver assistance that identifies pedestrians and helps you steer away from danger, adaptive cruise control that sets the speed based on road signs, adaptive steering that can follow a car in front even without lane markings, active emergency braking for cross-traffic, rear-seat seatbelt airbags, an air bladder that pushes front-seat occupants towards the center of the car before a side impact, and an audio system that triggers your eardrum's reflexes to prevent hearing damage in a crash. And that huge list is all we know so far – Mercedes hasn't talked about powertrain, chassis, or infotainment yet. We're also told that all of these features will be available when the E-Class comes to the States early next year. Unlike other automakers, which save the fancy tech for Europe, Mercedes will give us all most of the goodies. Here's a breakdown of each item. Park By Smartphone Unfortunately one of the coolest features on the new E-Class is the one that won't come stateside. Mercedes calls its autonomous parking Park Pilot, and it's similar to the remote control parking recently shown on the BMW 7 Series.

Mercedes AMG GT3 racecar due in 2016

Our life with the Mercedes-AMG GT has only just begun, and a full life it looks like it will be. The latest in preposterous two-doors from AMG is launching in GT and GT S flavors, but a few more branches of the family tree are already planned: a racing entry for the FIA GT3 championship is scheduled to appear in 2016, giving the current SLS AMG GT3 another year to gobble up victories before it takes a drive across the Styx. More exciting for those who only suit up on Sunday for church, whispers are that a we'll also get a streetable version of the race car - not called "GT3" because that alphanumeric is owned by Porsche, but definitely aimed at its Stuttgart rival. AMG boss Tobias Moers told Autocar the objective for that car is "more power, less weight, better aerodynamics and different suspension but the targets should be the power to weight ratio, drivability, lap time and tremendous feel." Those targets will be aided by a carbon fiber weight-loss regime of up to 220 pounds and more power - perhaps 550 horsepower - from the currently "very understressed" engine. Supposing that still isn't enough for you, then the Black Series version should curl your toes, if you can wait until 2018 for it.

Buy a V8 Mercedes-Maybach, or splurge for a V12? Oh to have such problems

There's a certain air that surrounds the Maybach badge, and it's not just the scent being pumped out by the ionizer in the car's glovebox. It's the cream of the crop when it comes to German luxury. These cars are filled with an acre's worth of wood and a herd's worth of cows, ensuring your fingers rarely touch materials as pedestrian as plastic. It's as quiet, as smooth, and as imposing as you think it would be. Though the latest model from Mercedes-Maybach, the S550, might have swapped in a V8 and all-wheel drive in place of the V12 at the heart of the S600, no other amenities have been lost in translation. The car's size gives it a certain presence. Staring at the profile shows a wheelbase that spans two counties, necessitating a microphone and speaker setup simply so that the driver can converse with the passenger – and a Maybach will almost always have a passenger. No one buys a Maybach to drive. You buy a Maybach to be driven. No means of transport short of business-class airline seating offers this much space. Sit back, recline the seat, roll up the shades and enjoy your $167,125 cocoon. But you know all of that already. What you really want to know is if $25,000 - the V12-powered S600 starts at $192,225 - is worth it to gain an extra four cylinders, 74 horsepower, and 96 lb-ft of torque. On paper, no, it's not. The two cars have identical performance numbers, and the S550 benefits from Mercedes' 4Matic all-wheel-drive system. Even with all-wheel drive, the S550 weighs less than the nose-heavy S600. Fuel economy is, as expected, superior in the S550. It's rated at 16 city, 24 highway and 19 combined as opposed to 13 city, 21 highway, and 16 combined. Visually, the two cars are identical save for a few badges. The V12 badge on the S600 is replaced with a 4Matic badge on the S550, and that's where things start to get murky. When you're spending six figures on a car, decisions become more emotional than practical. $25,000 is a lot of money, but there's a bigger difference between $25,000 and $50,000 than there is between $167,000 and $192,000. As stated, you don't buy these cars to drive. Performance needs to be merely adequate. A smooth, torquey V12 is likely preferable to a hairy-chested V8, refined as it may be. These cars will never touch redline, lest the passengers spill their champagne. Plus, that V12 badge is worth its weight in country club memberships. Driving an S550 is fine until an owner shows up at an event behind an S600.