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The 2017 Mercedes-Benz E-Class is a technological tour de force [w/video]

UPDATE: It turns out we won't get the Park Pilot remote parking feature after all. The Mercedes-Benz engineers in Germany said we would, but an update from the US product team says otherwise. The reason, according the Mercedes-Benz, is that remote parking is a feature of Mercedes connect me, the smartphone connected services app used in other countries. Merceds currently offers MBrace in the United States. This could change over the life cycle of the E-Class, but no announcements have been made. The text below is updated to reflect this new information. If there's a theme to the next Mercedes-Benz E-Class, it's technology stuff. No "and," no hashtag. Just technology stuff. The car is so loaded with new and updated features that it eclipses the S-Class as the brand's leading edge automobile just two years after the flagship's debut. The world of automotive technology is progressing at an exponential rate akin to Moore's Law, and the E-Class is at the front of the curve. For the sake of brevity (and totally not for SEO gamesmanship), the 2017 E-Class has so many new and improved features we're just going to list them: remote control parking via a smartphone app, NFC-based unlock and vehicle start using your smartphone, 84-LED adaptive headlights, Vehicle-to-X communication, evasive maneuver assistance that identifies pedestrians and helps you steer away from danger, adaptive cruise control that sets the speed based on road signs, adaptive steering that can follow a car in front even without lane markings, active emergency braking for cross-traffic, rear-seat seatbelt airbags, an air bladder that pushes front-seat occupants towards the center of the car before a side impact, and an audio system that triggers your eardrum's reflexes to prevent hearing damage in a crash. And that huge list is all we know so far – Mercedes hasn't talked about powertrain, chassis, or infotainment yet. We're also told that all of these features will be available when the E-Class comes to the States early next year. Unlike other automakers, which save the fancy tech for Europe, Mercedes will give us all most of the goodies. Here's a breakdown of each item. Park By Smartphone Unfortunately one of the coolest features on the new E-Class is the one that won't come stateside. Mercedes calls its autonomous parking Park Pilot, and it's similar to the remote control parking recently shown on the BMW 7 Series.

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Highlights from the Goodwood Festival of Speed, including the McLaren P1 and a Ford Transit running the hill

The sole purpose of this post is as a time-waster, and since you shouldn't have to work to waste time, we've done it for you. In the numerous videos below you'll find cars that have lately been in the news tramping all over the grounds of Lord March's estate in Goodwood, England.
There's the McLaren P1 heading up the hill, the Jaguar Project 7, then a casually-driven Porsche 917 followed by an even-more-casually-driven Porsche 956, topped off by a Porsche 936 that is anything but casually driven. The next round is the flame-spitting Peugeot 405 T16 Pikes Peak from Climb Dance, a camera mounted on the Peugeot RCZ R after it showing you what the whole, uninterrupted run up the hill looks like. For a real head-turner, we couldn't embed it but there's Andy Reid blasting up the hill in a Ford Transit Supervan with a Cosworth 3000 V6 engine.
The modern racing contingent has Allan McNish doing the hill in the Audi R18 e-tron quattro he used to win Le Mans and Lewis Hamilton making lots of tire smoke in the Mercedes-AMG Petronas MGP-W02. For comparison, that's followed by Nick Heidfeld's record-setting run up the hill in 1999 in the McLaren MP4/14 . The classic racing contingent is headlined by 71-year-old Giacomo Agostini on an MV Agusta.