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Five reasons to love, or hate, the culture of German cars

A few months back, we took a 500-foot view of the culture of American cars, dissecting prides and prejudices on our way to the conclusion that automotive allegiances can be simultaneously embraced and derided. We had so much fun with the narrative that we decided to do it again, this time taking a look at Germany and its world-renowned lineup of automakers, including the likes of Audi, BMW, Mercedes-Benz, Porsche and Volkswagen, among others. Join us below as we discuss the points and counterpoints that make or have made the German auto industry what it is today. And remember, Germany did pretty much invent the automobile, after all... The V12 Engine If America is known for the proliferation of the V8 engine, an argument could be made that Germany owns the V12. Yes, of course, other companies have created V12 engines – Ferrari, Jaguar and Lamborghini immediately come to mind – but the big 12-cylinder powerplants from BMW and Mercedes-Benz, in particular, have proven to be some of the most effortless, luxurious and downright over-built engines the world has ever seen. These days, having 12 cylinders is more a case of wretched excess than ever before, and yet, you can still stroll into your local BMW or Mercedes dealership and get a brand-new 760i, S600 or even an over-the-top G65 AMG, efficiency be damned. Best of all, since the majority of these German powerhouses depreciate as fast as an anchor sinks, nearly any auto enthusiast who dreams of a dozen cylinders can satisfy their carnal desires. Current Star: 2016 Mercedes-Maybach S600 View 28 Photos Diesel Engines Remember how we talked about those glorious V12 engines? Well, you can even get one from Audi that runs on diesel. If your compression-ignition fantasies err more on the side of fuel savings, that's no problem, either. Audi, BMW, Mercedes and Volkswagen have got you covered, with engines starting as small as 800 cubic centimeters (Smart Fortwo). If you want something a little more practical, it's hard to argue with a VW Golf TDI, which will provide plenty of space for you and three of your best friends, plus a fair bit of luggage, all while returning 50-ish miles per gallon. For the purposes of this discussion, we'd rather focus on the asinine levels of torque provided by Germany's high-end diesel engines than the lower-end fuel sippers.

2016 Mercedes-Maybach S600 Review [w/video]

"Hindsight is 20/20" is a handy yet disingenuous cliche. The flaw is that hindsight is only instructive up to the moment you would have made a different, perhaps better, decision. At the moment of that deviation the past goes in another direction, one that you can't peer back into because you didn't experience it. So when we say we wish Karl Benz's eponymous firm had produced the Mercedes-Maybach S600 in 2002 instead of the gilded blunder of the separate Maybach brand and its 57 and 62 sedans, we just can't know if the formula would have worked 13 years ago. But we do know the formula adds up superbly right now. A little history: Wilhelm Maybach helped Gottlieb Daimler build a high-speed, four-stroke internal combustion engine in 1885. Eventually Maybach went to work for Daimler's new car company and designed the first Mercedes, the 1901 35-hp model considered the world's first modern car. Maybach left the company after Daimler's death, started a company building zeppelins, then joined his son to start the Maybach car company. Together they developed super luxury cars including the DS8 Zeppelin models that competed with Rolls-Royce. A reviewer in 1933 wrote, "The Maybach Zeppelin models rank among the few cars in the international top class. They are highly luxurious, extremely lavish in their engineering and attainable only for a chosen few." It's a whopping 28 inches shorter than the departed Maybach 62, but 8.2 inches longer than a standard S-Class. As is this Maybach S600. It's a whopping 28 inches shorter than the departed Maybach 62, but since it's 8.2 inches longer than a standard S-Class, there's a very different driving experience. Two-thirds of a foot isn't much, but the Maybach is 639 pounds heavier than an S550, or 231 pounds heavier than a standard S600. From the driver's seat we could feel every additional pound and inch over those other models. It is as if Mercedes threw out the aluminum and steel and chiseled this sedan from basalt. We've driven scanty few cars where we've been genuinely glad for blind-spot detection and 360-degree cameras – this is one of them. The Maybach's wheelbase is four inches longer than that of a Bentley Mulsanne, even though the overall car is almost five inches shorter than the Big B. That long wheelbase translates into tranquil steering response – the S550, S600, and Maybach S600 all have the same 2.3 turns-to-lock, but this sedan feels like it takes more effort. It even looks heavy.

2013 Airstream Interstate 3500 EXT

LA To The Grand Canyon In The Mercedes-Benz Of RVs
Piloting an 8,500-pound motorized house down the highway is far from my idea of fun, yet inexplicably, I'm enjoying myself. My grin has nothing to do with my camper's handling, as this heavily accoutered Mercedes-Benz Sprinter drives like a 25-foot long breadbox. My smile has nothing to do with on-road stability, as the ten-foot-tall, slab-sided vehicle reacts to wind gusts like the vertical stabilizer on a Boeing jet. My delight has nothing to do with its throttle or braking response, either, as both are as numb as your forehead after the eighth beer.
This monstrosity makes me happy for one reason - my passengers are undeniably having a good time.