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The Scaldarsi Emperor I is a Mercedes-Maybach S600 taken to 11 on the bad-taste scale

The custom car world is filled with vehicles designed by people that don't know when to quit. The Scaldarsi Emperor I, shown here in all its awful rose-gold glory, appears to have been designed by an enthusiast of the KFC Double Down. It's a hideous creation and we can't let it pass without saying so. We also can't look away. Scaldarsi's so-called "artists" have thoroughly reworked what was a perfectly wonderful Mercedes-Maybach S600. In addition to the 24-karat rose gold accents, the company has crafted a new front fascia and modified the side and rear treatments. Inside, the general S600 shape remains, but new leather and wood cover nearly every surface. Your insane imagination will not be tamed, as there are 24 colors for the leather, 24 types of animal hides, 78 types of wood, and 16 exterior body colors available. The result, at least in the publicity shots, is a mix of awkward textures and seats that look like a pile of colorful marshmallows. Those interested in purchasing an Emperor I can option custom-engraved champagne glasses, matching tote bags, and even an Emperor Edition Rolex watch. If the standard key fob is too common for your taste, they'll make you one custom. Watch out for that Scaldarsi logo, though – it looks mean enough to rip through your pocket and take a chunk out of your leg. We will give Scaldarsi credit for wisely letting Brabus handle the power. The Emperor I uses the 6.3-liter twin-turbocharged V12 from the Brabus Rocket 900. This 888-horsepower monster is a tuned version of the V12 AMG uses in the S65, SL65, and G65. The Emperor I has an estimated 0-60 mph time of just 3.7 seconds, which is quick enough to leave stoplights before anyone recognizes you behind the wheel. Scaldarsi is asking a mere $1.5 million for each of 10 examples being created. If you miss out on the Emperor I or are some kind of twisted completist that needs one of each, this just the first in a series of customs the company will offer. Next up is the Emperor II (a Mercedes-AMG S65 Coupe), which will be followed by the Emperor III (Bentley Bentayga), Emperor IV (Mercedes-AMG G65), and Emperor V (Bugatti Chiron). Lord help us all. This content is hosted by a third party. To view it, please update your privacy preferences. Manage Settings. Related Video: This content is hosted by a third party. To view it, please update your privacy preferences. Manage Settings.

Race recap: 2016 Monaco Grand Prix gets very wet, a little wild

More than at any other race, the Monaco Grand Prix question is: which combination of demolition derby, Safety Cars, and bad pit strategy will decide the podium? Last year Lewis Hamilton's late, confounding pit stop cost him victory. The year before, Nico Rosberg's qualifying "mistake" put him on pole and Mercedes-AMG Petronas' pit strategy sealed his win – good for Nico, bad for Hamilton and the rest of the field. In 2013 Hamilton dropped from second to fourth when he lollygagged in the pits. In all three years, Rosberg won. The new X factor for 2016: a Red Bull resurgence that helped Daniel Ricciardo clinch his first career pole. Nevertheless, bad pit strategy had its say in the results. Ricciardo built up a 13-second lead by Lap 15 in spite of heavy rains that forced the Safety Car to lead the first eight laps of the race. Ricciardo stopped on Lap 23 to switch to intermediate tires for the drying track, ceding the lead to Hamilton. Hamilton pitted from the lead on Lap 31 for softs, then Red Bull pulled Ricciardo in again on Lap 32 and made a snap decision to put him on ultra softs, but the tires weren't ready when Ricciardo reached his pit box. What should have been a three-second pit stop turned into a 13.6-second pit stop. Ricciardo left the pits as Hamilton came down the straight and the Aussie lost the lead into the first corner. Despite two attempts to pass later in the race, Hamilton finished first, the Aussie second. It's the second race in a row where pit strategy cost Ricciardo a near-certain win. Conversely, Force India nailed both tire strategy and pit timing with Sergio Perez. The Mexican started in eighth but got into third before half the race was done, passing four cars in the pits, and finished on the podium's final step. Otherwise the order barely changed from about half distance, with Ferrari driver Sebatian Vettel in fourth, followed by Fernando Alonso in the McLaren, Nico Hulkenberg in the second Force India, Rosberg in the second Mercedes, Carlos Sainz for Toro Rosso, Jenson Button in the second McLaren, and Felipe Massa taking the final point for tenth for Williams. Storms didn't only hover over the area, though – dark clouds hung around several teams and drivers. Mercedes' reliability is no longer so reliable. The Silver Arrows suffered engine issues on both cars in qualifying, and Hamilton's problem almost kept him from setting a time in Q3.

The Mercedes-Maybach Pullman Guard is a limo with a bulletproof vest

As fabulously plush as the Mercedes-Maybach Pullman is, there is a certain class of individual for which luxury is only part of the equation. Oligarchs, dictators, kingpins of questionable businesses, and probably some legitimate world leaders all love luxury, but they sometimes face some hairy commutes that demand a bit more protection. For them, the answer to their luxury car needs is the armored Pullman Guard. The Mercedes-Maybach Pullman Guard tops the line of S-Class Guard models that also includes the Mercedes-Benz S600 Guard and the Mercedes-Maybach S600 Guard. Like the non-armored Pullman it packs loads of leather, seats with practically infinite adjustability, and redundant gauges for rear passengers. It is also by far the longest S-Class vehicle available, stretching more than 40 inches longer than the next-longest Mercedes-Maybach. This tremendous length allows the Pullman Guard to have four-passenger seating in the rear, with two seats facing two others. It's the perfect place to sign treaties or entertain diplomats. Or, if foreign affairs aren't your speed, it would also be a convenient place to carve up territory, issue ultimatums to enemies, and intimidate dissidents. The Pullman Guard was developed alongside the standard Pullman, and because of that, the added armor does not sacrifice interior space. The armor does affect weight, though. The Pullman Guard weighs over 11,000 pounds. But, in return, the steel plates on the sides and floor, non-Kevlar-brand high-strength fabrics, and polycarbonate-backed windows protect occupants from bullets and explosives. Plus, the Pullman Guard features a twin-turbo V12 that produces 530 horsepower and 612 lb-ft of torque to haul the added ballast around. If a recognized authority is ordering a Pullman Guard, Mercedes also offers sirens, flashing lights, two-way radios, an emergency starter battery, and a loudspeaker system. These items are sure to be useful when trying to navigate seas of protestors in the streets. All of this extra protection will cost you though, and if you have to ask, you definitely can't afford it. But we'll tell you the price anyway. A standard Pullman will run around $500,000 at current exchange rates. For the Guard model, be prepared to shell out about $1.56 million. It's a steep price for sure, but for those whose pampered lives are in danger, it's probably worth it.