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Race recap: 2016 Bahrain Grand Prix was everything good and bad about F1

Nothing was as it seemed heading into Bahrain. We were told team bosses had nixed the qualifying experiment that flunked every test by every measure in Australia, but that didn't happen. The FIA didn't give the teams the option of a wholesale return to the old format, the governing body only held a vote on whether to revert back to the old format in Q3 but stick with elimination gimmicks in Q1 and Q2. McLaren and Red Bull dissented, denying the chance for hybrid rounds. We're surprised none of the smaller teams voted against since elimination qualifying is hardest on them. Given the chance to fix the system again in Bahrain, Formula 1 failed again. The FIA and Bernie Ecclestone don't want to go back to the old system – because the race promoters don't want to go back to the old system – so all we know for sure is that there will be more meetings. We also thought Fernando Alonso would race in Bahrain after being given medical clearance, but a follow-up scan by the FIA showed fractured ribs and a damaged lung, ruling him out. And we thought Ferrari might have the pace to conquer Mercedes-AMG Petronas this year – and they might yet, but not on Saturday. That's why the Bahrain race began with another Mercedes one-two, Lewis Hamilton ahead of Nico Rosberg, Ferrari drivers Sebastian Vettel and Kimi Raikkonen behind. The Australian outback is plagued with rabbits, which must have something to do with how Daniel Ricciardo keeps pulling them out of his helmet; the Aussie got his Red Bull up to a surprising fifth on the grid. Williams drivers Valtteri Bottas in sixth and Felipe Massa in seventh would need to get him out of the way quickly to show what the car can do after an unsatisfying race in Australia. Nico Hulkenberg lined up in eighth for Sahara Force India. As proof the qualifying format failed again with its sophomore attempt, the last five minutes of Q2 were disappointing. Hulkenberg had the track completely to himself for his quali run, the only two cars on track after him were the Williams duo who weren't setting a time, but getting a set of soft tires ready to start the race on. As for Q1, the only reason for on-track action in the last three minutes was because Hamilton flubbed his first timed run. Romain Grosjean continued Haas F1's fruitful start to the season with ninth place, ahead of Max Verstappen in the Toro Rosso closing out the top ten. At the end of a long red light to start the race, Rosberg claimed his right to victory before Turn 1.

Mercedes harkens back to tortoise and hare for AMG GT Super Bowl spot

With just six automakers scheduled as advertisers during this year's Super Bowl, they sure aren't trying to keep things a surprise ahead of the kick off. After already teasing its spot days ago, Mercedes-Benz is the latest to fully reveal a minute-long commercial for the game. The whimsical ad modernizes Aesop's age-old fable about the race between the tortoise and the hare with a dose of muscle from the 2016 Mercedes-AMG GT S. The spot, titled Fable, starts exactly as you would expect, with a forest full of animals congregating to watch the boastful hare race the steady tortoise. Although, this race apparently takes place in Germany because the turtle eventually stumbles upon the AMG factory and its latest twin-turbocharged sports coupe. The commercial isn't quite as gripping as Mercedes' 2013 Super Bowl ad for the CLA-Class with Kate Upton and Willem Dafoe as the devil, but the new one might be an opportunity for much of the audience to see the GT for the first time. See for yourself, above.

Brabus 850 6.0 Biturbo Coupe is an extroverted, 217-mph Mercedes S63 AMG

The Mercedes-Benz S-Class is a prime example of handsome, restrained design. It's classy but not shouty, stylish without trying too hard. Of course, Brabus can address that um, problem, for you, without much issue. Meet the Brabus 850 6.0 Biturbo Coupe, an extensively modified version of the S63 AMG Coupe. Larger intakes and lots of carbon fiber typify the front end, while the tail sports a new diffuser and rear spoiler, both of which are finished in carbon fiber. Meanwhile, Brabus is offering a variety of wheel designs, ranging in size from 18 to 22 inches, and with the customer's choice of Continental, Pirelli and Yokohama rubber. The most questionable changes, though, happen in the cabin, where black Mastik leather is finished with copper stitching and piping. Brabus then takes 219 different interior trim pieces and lines them in Shadow Gold paint, just like the Monoblock wheels featured on the vehicle above. Of course, Brabus does much, much more than just offer its own take on the normally conservative Mercedes aesthetics. There's a bit of tweaking to the powertrain. Despite the "6.0" in its name, the donor S63 AMG's 5.5-liter, biturbocharged V8 has been enlarged to just over 5.9 liters (5,912 cc, to be precise), thanks to a larger cylinder bore and a longer stroke, the latter of which comes from a Brabus-spec crankshaft. While Brabus may be exaggerating about the size of its new coupe's engine, the tuning firm is not overstating said powerplant's output. A stout 850 horsepower is teamed with an electronically limited 848 pound-feet of torque. There's more to this modded Mercedes than that, though, as Brabus claims the 5.9-liter is actually capable of turning out a silly 1,069 lb-ft, but that it needed to be limited "in the interest of the longevity of the entire powertrain." All this extra oomph comes from a pair of "special" Brabus turbochargers, as well as new exhaust manifolds and a stainless steel exhaust system. A new intake module also helps breathing, while the engine's ECU has been updated for extra performance. Aside from a new set of paddle shifters, the S63 AMG's seven-speed gearbox was left unaltered, as was the 4Matic all-wheel-drive system. Oh, and if you live in Europe and really want to scare yourself, Brabus will offer the same engine treatment to the rear-drive S63 AMG that we don't get Stateside.