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Watch this bad parker get what's coming to him

If you're lucky enough to have a nice vehicle, do your fellow gearheads a favor and don't park like a clown. Seriously. Not only will you anger everyone who is trying to find a place to park, but your nice car is a billboard reinforcing the stereotype that car people are self-important and inconsiderate.
Take this gentleman for example. He has a Jaguar XK, and understandably wants to take care of it. Rather than parking it far, far away from any other cars and getting a bit of exercise by walking to his building, he takes up two spots (albeit barely) close to the structure. From the cameraman's narration, we can tell his coworkers are less than thrilled about his inability to stay between the lines.
Naturally, they wanted to teach him a lesson, so they parked a bigger vehicle as close to his driver's door as possible. Mr. XK's attempts to enter his vehicle are rather amusing, culminating in his climbing through the passenger side and scooching over to the driver's seat. While we can debate this sort of treatment all day long, it was effective. The video includes a follow up at the end showing where the XK driver parked the next day, and as you might guess, it wasn't in the same spot.

This is how we'd spec a Jaguar F-Pace

The configurator hitting the web is an exciting time in a new model's launch. Even if you don't have the cash to buy that sweet new ride, clicking through the options offers a chance to dream. Since we enjoy these stories so much, the Autoblog team is trying out something a little different for the new Jaguar F-Pace. Rather than describing all the stuff you can find on the page, some of our writers are going to show you how they'd spec out Jag's first crossover. Let us know how you like the new format in Comments, below. CHRIS BRUCE: I had an attractive, fairly affordable F-Pace Prestige ready, until the options list tempted me into an extra $5,000 in features. The final price of $56,255 doesn't seem too bad, though. While the diesel engine is probably quite nice, it's extremely hard not to pick the supercharged V6 with its intoxicating sound and 340 hp. Mine also includes the black trim package ($320), deleting the powertrain badge ($0), Adaptive Dynamics Pack ($1,000), Vision Pack ($2,000), and Head-up Display ($990). The British Racing Green paint ($550) and aluminum interior trim ($300) add a little more to the bottom line but are worth it for the extra style. GREG MIGLIORE: I shamelessly loaded mine up with options, let's just get that out of the way. But the F-Pace offers a lot of cool stuff, and the $400 activity security key is worth it for active lifestyles. I went with the silver paint and black 22s because I'd want my grocery-getter to have some attitude, and I think the pairing makes for a sinister yet tasteful appearance. Naturally, I'd want the 380-hp V6. It's a Jag. I want it to purr. SEYTH MIERSMA: If I'm throwing down on an F-Pace, I've already decided that I'm not going the thrifty route for my new crossover. Still, I don't see any particular advantage to the most-sporting version. The 340-hp gas-powered Jag will do just fine. Middle of the road then: F-Pace Prestige has the Xenons, heated seats, and steering wheel, and navigation that'd I'd add to a lesser model. And it looks hilariously disrespectful in this BRG paint with 20-inch black wheels. Jeremy Korzeniewski: The F-Pace is a Jaguar, and that means it can be both sporty and luxurious at the same time. But that doesn't mean it can't also be efficient. To that end, I chose to eschew the powerful gasoline engine options and instead spec my fictional F-Pace with a diesel.

2016 Jaguar XF to hit 60 mph in 5 seconds, lead with cutting-edge infotainment

Since the second-gen XF's unveiling last week in an epic publicity stunt over London's Canary Wharf, the details on the new four-door have been rather scarce. That changes now, with the Jaguar revealing just about everything we could hope to know... aside from the price and fuel economy. As we covered in our original post, Jaguar has trimmed the weight for both rear- and all-wheel-drive variants by 132 pounds and 265 lbs, respectively. That means that, regardless of engine output, the two-wheel-drive model tips the scales at just 3,770 lbs, while the AWD XF slips in at 3,880. This was mainly done by way of aluminum construction – the 13th element constitutes 75 percent of the XF's structure – although ultra-high-strength steel also plays a role. Jag claims these elements not only reduce weight – which is almost perfectly distributed, with a "near" fifty-fifty ratio – but increases torsional rigidity by 28 percent. The new XF should be just as agile as the brand's namesake, thanks not only to the reduced weight and stiffer structure, but also to a new chain-driven all-wheel-drive system that's both lighter and more efficient than a traditional version. Impressive though that may be, the brand's Intelligent Driveline Dynamics system is the standout here. IDD manages the torque split, diverting power to the rear axle until it predicts, through factors like yaw rate, steering angle and lateral acceleration, when torque should be shifted to the front wheels. Moreover, the AWD system features Adaptive Surface Response, which takes the place of the old XF's winter driving mode. It monitors road conditions, modifying the behavior of the sedan's systems as needed. The second-gen sedan comes to the US in 340-horsepower and 380-hp variants – torque remains fixed at 332 pound-feet – courtesy of Jaguar Land Rover's familiar 3.0-liter, supercharged V6. The new XF's straight-line performance should be just as entertaining as it sounds, too. The rear-drive, 340-hp XF will hit 60 in 5.2 seconds, while the rest of the range can get there in 5.0. That marks a significant reduction compared to the first-gen V6 models, which used their 340 hp to sprint to 60 in a more leisurely 5.7 to 6.1 seconds. Regardless of output, the rear-drive XF will outrun both the BMW 535i and Mercedes-Benz E350 (we're still waiting on performance figures for the 329-hp E400, so Jag's RWD dominance may not last), which take 5.5 seconds and 6.5 seconds, respectively.