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Turn Out the Lights: Final Hummer H3 rolls off the line... for Avis

2010 Hummer H3 - Click above for high-res image gallery
Would the last one out the door please switch off the lights? The long strange trip that has been the Hummer brand is just about over for General Motors. The final ever production H3 rolled out of GM's Shreveport, Louisiana factory on Monday May 24, 2010 on its way to an Avis rental car outlet. As you may recall, GM had actually stopped assembling H3s in mid-2009 as it went through bankruptcy, but it resumed production recently in order to fill an 849 unit special order.
GM tried to sell the Hummer brand to Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machines Co., Ltd but the deal ultimately fell apart last February. A subsequent offer from Raser Technologies also went nowhere. Now that production has ceased, 200 of the 900 remaining employees at Shreveport will be laid off by July and the rest of the Hummer staff back at headquarters in Detroit is either leaving or being reassigned.

Are orphan cars better deals?

Most folks don't know a Saturn Aura from an Oldsmobile Aurora. Those of you who are immersed in the labyrinth of automobilia know that both cars were testaments to the mediocrity that was pre-bankruptcy General Motors, and that both brands are now long gone. But everybody else? Not so much. By the same token, there are some excellent cars and trucks that don't raise an eyebrow simply because they were sold under brands that are no longer being marketed. Orphan brands no longer get any marketing love, and because of that they can be alarmingly cheap. Case in point, take a look at how a 2010 Saturn Outlook compares with its siblings, the GMC Acadia and Buick Enclave. According to the Manheim Market Report, the Saturn will sell at a wholesale auto auction for around $3,500 less than the comparably equipped Buick or GMC. Part of the reason for this price gap is that most large independent dealerships, such as Carmax, make it a point to avoid buying cars with orphaned badges. Right now if you go to Carmax's site, you'll find that there are more models from Toyota's Scion sub-brand than Mercury, Saab, Pontiac, Hummer, and Saturn combined. This despite the fact that these brands collectively sold in the millions over the last ten years while Scion has rarely been able to realize a six-figure annual sales figure for most of its history. That is the brutal truth of today's car market. When the chips are down, used-car shoppers are nearly as conservative as their new-car-buying counterparts. Unfamiliarity breeds contempt. Contempt leads to fear. Fear leads to anger, and pretty soon you wind up with an older, beat-up Mazda MX-5 in your driveway instead of looking up a newer Pontiac Solstice or Saturn Sky. There are tons of other reasons why orphan cars have trouble selling in today's market. Worries about the cost of repair and the availability of parts hang over the industry's lost toys like a cloud of dust over Pigpen. Yet any common diagnostic repair database, such as Alldata, will have a complete framework for your car's repair and maintenance, and everyone from junkyards to auto parts stores to eBay and Amazon stock tens of thousands of parts. This makes some orphan cars mindblowingly awesome deals if you're willing to shop in the bargain bins of the used-car market. Consider a Suzuki Kizashi with a manual transmission. No, really.

The electric Hummer gets a new logo

GM submitted three trademark applications to government offices here and in Canada, as discovered by GM Authority. Two applications went to the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office and the Canadian Intellectual Property Office on February 4 this year, seeking to reserve the new Hummer logo, at the top in the image above. Note, the two logos aren't to scale; they're about the same size all things being equal, but we shrunk the old mark. GM sent a second application to the USPTO on February 7 requesting the brand name "Hummer" for application to "motor land vehicles, namely, automobiles, trucks and sport utility vehicles; bicycles." True, we've seen the new Hummer script stretched across the front of the coming electric pickup in a teaser clip, but the paperwork continues the process of getting the entire continent ready for the alternate universe resurrection of one of America's most notorious brands.     In 2010, gas prices were in orbit, GM committed to closing the Hummer brand, vandals were setting fire to the scattered Hummers left on dealer lots, the Chevrolet Corvette ZR1 made 638 horsepower, the eco-minded revered the Toyota Prius and the Tesla Model S was still two years away. In that year, it would have been hard to say something more bonkers than, "Hummer's coming back in ten years as an electric pickup, its top trim making 1,000 horsepower and 11,500 pound-feet of torque." But here we are. The new logo's squareness connects it to the resolute bluntness of the old mark, yet the thinner font and chopped corners both modernize the old logo and lessen its truculence. The brand appears headed the same way, with lurid specs and square-jawed looks just like old times, but having in LeBron James a more modern take on the hardcore male vibe than it once got from (unpaid) association with guys like Arnold Schwarzenegger. To be fair, old Hummer commercials always featured women in the driver's seat, or men and young boys dreaming of big adventures, or Regis Philbin chatting up models, but the marketing department couldn't — or didn't want to — outrun the lineup's reputation on the street. We'll see how the electric version and its “incredible on- and off-road capability" fare. According to the teaser site, the new Hummer's debut is still on track for May 20. If the brand manages to recreate the old H3T pickup but with an electric powertrain, it's got one buyer right here lined up already. Related Video: