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2016 April Fools' Day: Morgan digs at Tesla, Mini's scissor doors, more

Every year automakers go out of their way to come up with gags for April Fools' Day. Sometimes the jokes fall flat, but occasionally a company really nails it with an idea that we'd actually love to see. Rather than scouring the Web for all of these stunts, you can find some of our favorites right here. Morgan MOGrod The Morgan Motor Company's MOGrod is one of our favorite April Fools' jokes so far this year because it's a car we wish could be real. The company says on Twitter that the retro hot rod uses a 3.7-liter Ford V6, and there are already 250,000 preorders, which is a play on the huge number of reservations for the Tesla Model 3. Morgan took the joke even further by sketching a landspeed record version for the Bonneville Salt Flats. Mini Scissor Doors The people at Mini apparently have a lot of free time because the company has two gags this year. The first is the scissor door option. The idea cleverly plays on the myriad ways customers can customize their Mini, but this solution doesn't look like anyone could easily enter the car due to the way these doors open. Mini Hipster Hatch There's also the Hipster Mini, which is a much funnier idea. This fictional hatchback would be perfect for fashionable Millennials thanks to features like Instagram-filter windows and a fixed-gear drivetrain, which limits the top speed to 25 miles per hour. The interior uses stonewash denim upholstery and packs a twin-deck cassette player. Skoda Dog Umbrella People love dogs, and owners know that a wet canine can be a mess. Skoda is ready to tackle this problem with an umbrella for your mutt. Made from unobtainium, the gadget hides in the door when not in use, but when raindrops start falling, people can keep their pup dry. Skoda Snowman Skoda's Facebook page also teases us with a very cool vehicle. The Snowman is a 396-horsepower plug-in hybrid snow machine. With its tracks, the company's newest model would never have to worry about getting stuck in the winter. Opel Adam C Sure, electricity and hydrogen are cleaner forms of fuel than gasoline or diesel, but Opel has a way to make your car even more environmentally friendly – muscle power. Wind up the crank at the rear for 15 minutes, and the Opel Adam C is good for 125 miles. GM's European division also claims that owners get a great workout because a full winding session burns 400 calories. You wouldn't feel guilty about picking up that pizza after cranking up this hatchback.

BMW tops Consumer Reports 2023 Brand Report Card

Feels like we wrote about Consumer Reports' 2022 Brand Report Car and 10 Top Picks a few weeks ago, but it was last April. So the mag is back with a ranked roster of 32 brands and 10 vehicles in four categories for your debating pleasure. Starting with the brands, last year's top three were Subaru, Mazda and BMW. This year, the Munich crew climbed two spots to win the prize thanks to "Superb road test scores and solid results in CR’s reliability and owner satisfaction surveys." Subaru narrowly fell to second, maintaining its four-year run in the top three. Mini, eighth last year, jumped five spots to get the last step on the podium. The rest of the top 10 were Lexus (up one spot from last year), Honda (down one spot from last year), Toyota (up three), Genesis (up 12), Mazda (down six), Audi (down three) and Kia (up eight). The magazine and testing outfit says its Brand Report Card "[reveals] which automakers are producing the most well-performing, safe, and reliable vehicles based on CRÂ’s independent testing and member surveys," and that "Brands that rise to the top tend to have the most consistent performance across their model lineups." Last year's top 10 had six automakers from Japan, three from Germany (giving Mini credit for England), none from the U.S. or South Korea, and five luxury brands. This year's list counts five makes from Japan, two from Germany because Porsche fell out of the top ten, two from South Korea, still none from the U.S., and four luxury brands. Buick again ranked as the best domestic, dropping to 12th after being 11th last year. The big mover was Lincoln, its 10-place jump up to 16th attributed to better reliability from the Corsair and Nautilus. Tesla's improved overall reliability saw it climb six spots to 17th. Dodge climbed one spot to 15th. Jeep got out of the penalty box in last to come second-to-last. Land Rover fell three places into the penalty spot.  CR's top 10 vehicle models The 10 Top Picks list is practically a new list. Only two holdovers made it to 2023, those being the Subaru Forester and Kia Telluride.

Fernando Alonso expects to retire after McLaren-Honda

When Fernando Alonso was three years old, his father gave him a model of a McLaren-Honda grand prix car. That's where his path to Formula One started, and it's where he wants his career to end as well. Speaking with Autosport, the two-time world champion indicated that he intends to retire after he's done at McLaren, rather than switch to another team. Of course, he didn't indicate just when that would be, but as far as he's concerned, the road ends in Woking. The highly rated and immensely successful Spanish driver has been on the grid for fourteen years now. He started out with Minardi (precursor to Toro Rosso) in 2001, then spent four seasons with Renault, where he scored back-to-back world titles. He then switched to McLaren for one year, where he won four races, then back to Renault for another three where he and the team fell off their form. Fernando subsequently switched to Ferrari where he spent the last five seasons, thrice finishing second in the world championship but never quite managing to clinch an elusive third title. This year he's back at McLaren but has had a bumpy start. After crashing during a pre-season test session, he sat out the season opener, and failed to finish the second round in Malaysia. He's now in Shanghai preparing for this weekend's Chinese Grand Prix. Like this writer, he'll be turning 34 in July, making him the fourth oldest driver on the grid this year. So he's still got a good few years in him, and will likely want to see the troubled rekindling of the McLaren-Honda partnership through to winning form. But while nobody can tell what the future will bring, it looks like any other team that hopes to lure the champ away could end up disappointed.