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2016 April Fools' Day: Morgan digs at Tesla, Mini's scissor doors, more

Every year automakers go out of their way to come up with gags for April Fools' Day. Sometimes the jokes fall flat, but occasionally a company really nails it with an idea that we'd actually love to see. Rather than scouring the Web for all of these stunts, you can find some of our favorites right here. Morgan MOGrod The Morgan Motor Company's MOGrod is one of our favorite April Fools' jokes so far this year because it's a car we wish could be real. The company says on Twitter that the retro hot rod uses a 3.7-liter Ford V6, and there are already 250,000 preorders, which is a play on the huge number of reservations for the Tesla Model 3. Morgan took the joke even further by sketching a landspeed record version for the Bonneville Salt Flats. Mini Scissor Doors The people at Mini apparently have a lot of free time because the company has two gags this year. The first is the scissor door option. The idea cleverly plays on the myriad ways customers can customize their Mini, but this solution doesn't look like anyone could easily enter the car due to the way these doors open. Mini Hipster Hatch There's also the Hipster Mini, which is a much funnier idea. This fictional hatchback would be perfect for fashionable Millennials thanks to features like Instagram-filter windows and a fixed-gear drivetrain, which limits the top speed to 25 miles per hour. The interior uses stonewash denim upholstery and packs a twin-deck cassette player. Skoda Dog Umbrella People love dogs, and owners know that a wet canine can be a mess. Skoda is ready to tackle this problem with an umbrella for your mutt. Made from unobtainium, the gadget hides in the door when not in use, but when raindrops start falling, people can keep their pup dry. Skoda Snowman Skoda's Facebook page also teases us with a very cool vehicle. The Snowman is a 396-horsepower plug-in hybrid snow machine. With its tracks, the company's newest model would never have to worry about getting stuck in the winter. Opel Adam C Sure, electricity and hydrogen are cleaner forms of fuel than gasoline or diesel, but Opel has a way to make your car even more environmentally friendly – muscle power. Wind up the crank at the rear for 15 minutes, and the Opel Adam C is good for 125 miles. GM's European division also claims that owners get a great workout because a full winding session burns 400 calories. You wouldn't feel guilty about picking up that pizza after cranking up this hatchback.

Six 'shut up and take my money' cars

Any time you see this iconic moment in pop culture - Shut up and take my money! - posted in response to a new car reveal, rumor for an upcoming model or even lip-service to a vehicle that should exist, you can bet there's some intrinsic good in the idea. Though depending on the person offering up the cash, that good could take the form of extraordinary form, functionality, weight savings, power, handling, etc. You get the idea.
In fact, when I first proposed this list, I reached out to the Autoblog staff to help me brainstorm. Here are some of the ideas they offered up that I ultimately didn't use: Jaguar XE Coupe, Pagani Huayra Roadster, Mercedes-Benz S-Class "parade car" (cabriolet), Morgan 3-Wheeler with Ducati V-twin, Ford Transit Connectamino (pickup), Mercedes CLA63 AMG, Ford Fusion 5.0, BMW i8 Spyder, Lexus RC-F Shooting Brake, Volvo XC90 Polestar. Oh, and things we collectively wanted to stick Dodge's Hellcat in were almost as numerous as models that Fiat Chrysler Automotive currently makes (though none quite so compelling as the Grand Cherokee you see above.)
Ultimately though, while I used a couple of ideas from my colleagues, the list of cars I'd shell out for unquestionably is very personal. Though it isn't complete, what follows is a selection of cars whose very existence would prompt me - or the trust-fund-baby versions of me - to utter without hesitation: "Shut up and take my money."

Fernando Alonso expects to retire after McLaren-Honda

When Fernando Alonso was three years old, his father gave him a model of a McLaren-Honda grand prix car. That's where his path to Formula One started, and it's where he wants his career to end as well. Speaking with Autosport, the two-time world champion indicated that he intends to retire after he's done at McLaren, rather than switch to another team. Of course, he didn't indicate just when that would be, but as far as he's concerned, the road ends in Woking. The highly rated and immensely successful Spanish driver has been on the grid for fourteen years now. He started out with Minardi (precursor to Toro Rosso) in 2001, then spent four seasons with Renault, where he scored back-to-back world titles. He then switched to McLaren for one year, where he won four races, then back to Renault for another three where he and the team fell off their form. Fernando subsequently switched to Ferrari where he spent the last five seasons, thrice finishing second in the world championship but never quite managing to clinch an elusive third title. This year he's back at McLaren but has had a bumpy start. After crashing during a pre-season test session, he sat out the season opener, and failed to finish the second round in Malaysia. He's now in Shanghai preparing for this weekend's Chinese Grand Prix. Like this writer, he'll be turning 34 in July, making him the fourth oldest driver on the grid this year. So he's still got a good few years in him, and will likely want to see the troubled rekindling of the McLaren-Honda partnership through to winning form. But while nobody can tell what the future will bring, it looks like any other team that hopes to lure the champ away could end up disappointed.