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Ford Explorer Jackson Pollock Edition results in trip to hospital

Among the many useful pieces of driving advice we've taken to heart over the years, "Safely secure all cargo" is etched pretty high on our personal stone tablets. We've had a couple of frustrating moments over the years (numerous wonky cupholders and too-tall lidded cups; a radar detector that released its suction cups and dashed itself below the dashboard, etc.), but never anything like the scene above.
These photos above come courtesy of the Washington State Patrol, and they show the unfortunate aftermath of a driver, his dog, and his Ford Explorer after it crashed near the town of Belfair last week. According to reports, the man was schlepping five-gallon containers of paint inside his vehicle when he was involved in an unexplained accident. It's not clear what triggered the crash, but the impromptu abstract painting covered the whole of the interior, including the driver and his faithful companion.
The man was transported to a local hospital for minor injuries, and his dog was cleaned and later taken to a humane society.

Bacon-wrapped Ford Fiesta hams it up for International Bacon Day

This is a bacon-wrapped Ford Fiesta. It is a real thing, that a real, multi-billion-dollar company designed. And it isn't even April Fools' Day. Designed for International Bacon Day, which is also apparently a thing, the 2014 Fiesta is finished in Green Envy paint - we're told black paint, like the color of a skillet, made the car look camouflaged - and features 10 gigantic decals depicting strips of tender, cured bacon.
The design, which was approved by the CEO of Benton's Country Hams, Allan Benton, show off the depth of Ford's Custom Graphics program. Unbelievably, Ford will actually start offering bacon decals to everyday customers, including (and we can't believe we're writing this) dual bacon racing stripes which will no doubt have Carroll Shelby spinning and/or salivating in his grave, and a "side of bacon," which wraps a couple of strips over the rear wheels.
Benton, who Ford claims is the King of Bacon, had this to say: "This car just makes so much sense." The Fiesta's marketing manager, Liz Elser added, "It's just awesome to drive down the road in a piece of bacon."

Detroit 3 small cars lay an egg in latest Consumer Reports reliability study

Consumer Reports has released its Annual Auto Reliability Survey and the results are, in a word, interesting. While we already covered the score-damaging effects of infotainment systems, there's another big angle to the data that's getting some attention - the utterly dismal scores of the Detroit Three's small car offerings.
The turbocharged Dodge Dart and Chevrolet Cruze, as well as the Ford Fiesta were their respective brands' lowest-scoring models, a stat that's made worse by the fact that the American automakers finished 25th, 21st and 23rd, respectively.
That's not acceptable for The Detroit Free Press' auto critic, Mark Phelan, who has penned a scathing critique of the D3's small car reliability scores, arguing that GM, Ford and Chrysler are "out of excuses."