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1979 Ford Ranchero - 351, Factory Air, And A Ride You'll Never Forget! Read On! on 2040-cars

US $3,999.99
Year:1979 Mileage:99999
Location:

Scottsdale, Arizona, United States

Scottsdale, Arizona, United States
Advertising:

The year was 1979. I was rockin’ with my business up front, casual in back hair (for you youngsters, a “mullet”). Cutoffs for dudes were acceptable, and so were baby blue polyester leisure suits.  And I wore them all with pride.

 

I was saving up for my first 8-track in my Corvair when I drove past a Ford dealer and fell in lust with a girl I call “Badass Ranchero.”

 

If this car could talk, I’d be in fricken jail.   

 

Nothing came between Brooke Shields and her Calvins when this truck was born.  But unfortunately, it’s finally time for someone to come between me and Badass Ranchero.

 

I’m inviting you to continue my Ranchero escapades, and let Badass Ranchero’s Legend live on. It’s more than a car.  It’s more than a truck.  It’s the Badass Ranchero.

 

Badass Ranchero is a rust-free Arizona ride. 

 

If you like, I’m happy to go on your inaugural ride in Badass Ranchero, wherein together we will relive portions of it’s history through my descriptive tales.  I’m happy to provide the G-rated versions, or the XXX-rated versions upon request. We can belt out an off-key rendition of “Do you think I’m Sexy,” just as I did while rollin’ to the disco in ’79.  We can cry together as we relive hearing about the death of Freddie Mercury on the AM radio. While in the passenger seat, you may succumb to the overwhelming urge to tease your hair, and carry a rat-tailed comb in your rear Wrangler jeans pocket. I will not judge you.  I’ve been there, friend.  Hopefully Poncho from CHiPs won’t pull us over because of your sudden “need for speed” due to it’s manly 351cid engine with automatic transmission.  I’m sure we’ll do a single wheel-burnout, and Poncho will eat our dust coming from our dual exhaust, but he won’t catch us a second time on his rice-burner, that’s for sure.

 

You’ll tell from our drive that while she drives like a boat, the steering is power, as are the brakes.  (Only the best for my Badass!) 

 

Disclaimer:  This Badass Ranchero is so laden with testosterone, it’ll cause a noticeable increase in your chest hair merely by sitting in the driver’s seat.  As a result, you won’t even notice that while the A/C compressor turns, the car can’t get any cooler. (Seriously.  It blows as hot as the last date I had in it.)

 

Now accepting applications for the new Custodian of Badass Ranchero.  In order to apply, you must:


  1. Know who Roscoe P. Coltrain is;

  2. Respect the fact that Farrah Fawcett was the BOMB;

  3. If you have never worn a mullet, you at least must be related to someone who sported one “Back in the Day.”  Proof will be required.

  4. You need cash. 

  5. You can’t return Badass.  She is sold “as-is,” with no warranty, express nor implied;

  6. Miles are not actual, true miles are unknown.  Note: She's probably got more than I put on my last girlfriend;

  7. Title nor car will be released until funds are cleared.  Wiring funds is best. Or cash on pickup.  ALL FUNDS MUST CLEAR.  Otherwise, I'll sic Scooby Doo on your a$$.

  8. Ask all questions BEFORE purchase, not after. 

 Thanks for reading.

 

(description courtesy of my friend, Muffy. Date not included nor implied.)

 


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Auto blog

Who would win in a race if the Super Bowl teams were cars?

Sat, Feb 6 2016

Until the last down is played this Sunday, we will have the annoyance pleasure of listening to analysts bicker between who will win the Super Bowl, not unlike automotive analysts who do the same thing with cars. If I had a dollar for every conversation about what car would win against another on a specific track, I wouldn't be buying the raw avocados this year for my guacamole. Instead I would be purchasing organic avocados and have the guacamole served in a Ferrari-themed bowl. Yes, those exist. Even so, we still watch year after year knowing full well that the pre-game analysis typically adds up to less than what is left over in the chip bowl after the last guest leaves. Let's take a different approach to analysis this year, let's compare these teams to their vehicle equivalent to decide who would win in a fair race. How do you determine a fair race? When I think of a fair race I think of the Nurburgring. A track that is 12.9 miles, has 1,000 feet of elevation change, and is famously nicknamed The Green Hell by famed driver Jackie Stewart. Although your Supra may beat The Flash himself in a straight line, chances are once you push it to the limits on a 12.9-mile track your brakes will smell like a bonfire and your suspension will have gone into cardiac arrest twice. So if we're racing The 'Ring, what are we driving? To best answer that question we must determine what characteristics define these teams. Not being someone who knows more about my fantasy league than my significant other, I can only go off what I have heard from "experts." The Panthers are honestly known for Cam Newton. Cam is a versatile, fast, brash, and fairly young quarterback. He apologizes for nothing and has Ali-like confidence that shows in his choice of Liberace-type attire. Although he looks to be the favorite, he hasn't yet won a Super Bowl and the team's second-half performances are less than climatic. In racing terms, he has won a lot but no one has seen him race in the dark at the 24 Hours of Le Mans. The Panthers have a ton of acceleration, a brand new chassis, and a driver who is hungry for that first big win. On the other side of the track are the Broncos. It seems as though the Broncos are known for two things, a nostalgic quarterback and a defense that could strike fear into a Honey Badger. If the Broncos were just one component of a vehicle they would be the brakes, and these brakes are outfitted for a locomotive.

Ford Mustang 50th anniversary edition brings in $170k

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The last of 1,964 special-edition 50 Years Limited Edition pony cars sold for a princely $170,000, with proceeds benefiting the Edith and Benson Ford Heart & Vascular Institute, a branch of the Henry Ford Health System.
The pony car in question is based on the 2015 Ford Mustang GT and upgrades with a performance package and nearly every option on the book, along with a unique appearance package to set it apart in celebration of the Mustang's 50th anniversary. It's available in two exclusive shades - Wimbledon white or Kona blue - with either a manual or automatic transmission. Only 1,964 highly symbolic examples were to be built, and this was the last of them.

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