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Junkyard Gem: 1993 Mercury Topaz GS Sedan

As long as the Mercury brand existed — a period spanning the 1939 through 2011 model years — nearly every Mercury sold in the United States was more or less a redecorated Ford model. The Torino had its Montego sibling, the Crown Victoria had the Grand Marquis, the Cougar was based on everything from the Mustang to the Mondeo, and so on. Naturally, when the folks in Dearborn developed the Ford Tempo compact, a Mercury version had to be created. This was the Topaz, with the official launch of both cars taking place on the deck of the aircraft carrier often referred to as the USS Decrepit. You can't make this stuff up! The Tempo/Topaz, also known as the Tempaz, has largely faded from our collective automotive memory by now, since it broke no significant new engineering or styling ground (this story would be much different if Ford had only put the amazing straight-eight "T-Drive" Tempaz powertrain into production) and didn't have any endearing features other than being a cheap domestic competitor to the Toyota Corolla and Nissan Sentra. Still, close to 3 million Tempazes left North American Ford and Lincoln-Mercury showrooms during the 1984-1994 period. As you'd expect, most of these disposable cars disappeared from both the street and the car graveyard long ago. It takes a very special Tempaz for me to break out my camera while I'm patrolling my local wrecking yards; generally, this means an ultra-rare all-wheel-drive version or at least a very early model in super-clean condition. Today's Junkyard Gem is neither, but I took one look at this spectacular Bordello Red crypto-velour-and-slippery-plastic interior and recognized that this was no ordinary junkyard Mercury. It appears that Mercury had dropped the idea of clever names for base-grade seat fabrics by the time of the Topaz, referring to this stuff as just "cloth" in all the brochures I could find. That's too bad, because Mercurys had cool names for upholstery (e.g., Chromatex) in the old days. The interior is in very good condition but the steering wheel shows substantial wear, so I think this is a high-mile Topaz that got meticulous care from its owner or owners. Ford used five-digit odometers on these cars until the end of production, however, so we'll never know if this reading indicates 65,404 miles or 365,404 miles. The body is very straight, but there's some nasty corrosion behind the right front wheelwell.

Ford dealer loses Super Bowl bet, pays $300K to lucky customers [w/video]

A Missouri Ford dealership's Super Bowl weekend sale cost it big when the improbable happened. Hutcheson Ford ran a promotion from January 29 to February 1, called the Super Weekend Sale. The gist was, if any customer purchased a vehicle between those dates and either the opening or second-half kickoff of the big game was returned for a touchdown, the dealership would refund the purchase price.
In the dealership's defense, it seemed like a safe bet. According to the mathematicians, there was just a 2.5-percent chance of either half opening with a touchdown return. But that didn't stop Seattle's Percy Harvin from doing his part to ruin Denver's evening, returning the second-half kick for an 87-yard touchdown run. Twelve Hutcheson customers were eligible for refunds thanks to the return, with prices ranging from $10,000 to $55,000, according to Automotive News. The total amount shelled out by the dealership? $300,000.
"At least we're not like that furniture guy that lost $7 million," dealership marketing manager Kathleen Frazier told AN. We think it was a big success." The dealership did take out insurance to cover its losses, meaning the $300K won't come entirely from its pockets.

Ford Australia pulls the ol' talking car prank

Siri from Apple has proven that being able to talk to your technology doesn't always work perfectly. But what if it could eventually go far enough to give a personality to inanimate objects like our cars? Ford took just this path to comedic effect by playing a prank on many unsuspecting Australians, in a new commercial for its EcoSport compact crossover.
The Aussies seem very nonchalant about having a random parked car talk to them, and they seem surprisingly game when it asks them to get in, call a celebrity and tell a joke. (We're guessing there are some hilarious outtakes, too.) Scroll down to watch some folks from Down Under have a conversation with Ford's CUV.