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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part two

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice. Parker lives in Hawaii and can hold his breath longer than he can go without swearing. For Part One, click here. Or you can skip ahead to Part Three here. I write about surfing for a living. If you can call it a living. Basically means I spend my days fucking around and my wife pays for everything. Because she's got a real job that pays well. Brings home the bacon. Very progressive arrangement. Super twenty first century. I run a surf website, beachgrit.com, with two other guys. It's a strange gig. More or less uncensored. Kind of popular. Very good at alienating advertisers. My behavior has cost us a few bucks. I'm terrible at self-censorship. Know there's a line out there, no idea where it lies. I still don't understand any of the technical side. Might as well be astrophysics or something. For contests I do long rambling write ups. They rarely make much sense. Mainly just talk about my life, whatever random thoughts pop into my head. "Can you do something similar for Le Mans?" "Sure, but I know absolutely fuck-all about racing." "That's okay. Just write what you want." "Will do. But you're gonna need to edit my stuff. Probably censor it heavily." So here I am. I spent the last week trying to learn all I can about the sport of endurance racing. But there's only so much you can jam in your head. And I still don't understand any of the technical side. Might as well be astrophysics or something. While I rambled things were happening. Tracy Krohn spun into the gravel on the Forza chicane. #89 is out of the race after an accident I missed. Pegasus racing hit the wall on the Porsche curves. Bashed up front end, in the garage getting fixed. Toyota and Porsche are swapping back and forth in the front three. Ford back in the lead in GTE Pro. #91 Porsche took a stone through the radiator, down two laps. Not good. The wife and I are one of those weird childless couples that spend way too much time caring for the needs of their pet. French bulldog, Mr Eugene Victor Debs. Great little guy. Spent the last four years training him to be obedient and friendly. Nice thing about dogs, when you're sick of dealing with them you can just lock 'em in another room for a few hours. You don't need to worry about paying for college.

All 25 James Bond movies ranked only by their cars

There is no shortage of lists ranking the best James Bond movies. Ditto lists about the best or worst James Bond cars. I know, I've written some of them. As such, why not combine the two ideas into one new list that ranks all 25 official James Bond movies based exclusively on their cars, or more accurately their car content. I would then pull from my 25 years of James Bond nerddom plus the excellent "Bond Cars: The Definitive History" and our interview with long-time Bond special effects supervisor Chris Corbould to provide tidbits and factoids about the cars and their roles in the movies. And yes(!), this list now includes "No Time to Die," which impresses by adding plenty of car content to the series. It's now available on Blu-ray and download. To determine the list, I considered the inherent coolness of the cars as well as their importance to Bond, film and car history. I considered their importance to the story as well as the quality/excitement of the chases and scenes they participated in. Finally, I tried my best to divorce the car content from my opinions about the movies in general. That my personal list of best James movies looks nothing like this shows I was at least partially successful.     25. 'Moonraker' There are virtually no cars in "Moonraker." None. Oh, there's a gondola on wheels that makes a pigeon do a double-take, but that's not the same thing as a car. Neither is a golf cart. Or an ambulance. Or a space shuttle.   24. 'From Russia With Love' The literary James Bond mostly drove an ancient Bentley, and "From Russia with Love" is the only film in which it appears. It stays parked and the coolest thing that happens (by 1962 standards) is 007 answers its car phone. Thereafter, we get some old cars (even by 1962 standards) driving around Istanbul and a yellow truck. So yeah. Classic Bond film, a must-watch, just not for its car content.   23. 'Dr. No' History records that the first "Bond car" is the Sunbeam Alpine in "Dr. No." The car itself was literally borrowed from a Miss Jennifer Jackson of 53 Lady Musgrave Road in Jamaica for 10 pounds per day for two days during filming. Also, the stunt where it drove under an excavator blocking the road was entirely conceived because the filmmakers showed up to the road they intended to film on and discovered an excavator blocking the thing. Sadly, those are really the only two things interesting about the Alpine, which is a pretty small and dainty thing by Bond car standards.

Bacon-wrapped Ford Fiesta hams it up for International Bacon Day

This is a bacon-wrapped Ford Fiesta. It is a real thing, that a real, multi-billion-dollar company designed. And it isn't even April Fools' Day. Designed for International Bacon Day, which is also apparently a thing, the 2014 Fiesta is finished in Green Envy paint - we're told black paint, like the color of a skillet, made the car look camouflaged - and features 10 gigantic decals depicting strips of tender, cured bacon.
The design, which was approved by the CEO of Benton's Country Hams, Allan Benton, show off the depth of Ford's Custom Graphics program. Unbelievably, Ford will actually start offering bacon decals to everyday customers, including (and we can't believe we're writing this) dual bacon racing stripes which will no doubt have Carroll Shelby spinning and/or salivating in his grave, and a "side of bacon," which wraps a couple of strips over the rear wheels.
Benton, who Ford claims is the King of Bacon, had this to say: "This car just makes so much sense." The Fiesta's marketing manager, Liz Elser added, "It's just awesome to drive down the road in a piece of bacon."