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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part three

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice. Parker lives in Hawaii and has an associates degree in dropping f-bombs. For Part One, click here. Part Two is here. Really hoped I'd be able to grab an hour or two of sleep before the sun rose over Le Mans. Dark dark dark, couldn't figure out what was going on. Commentators struggled at times as well. But I couldn't do it. Endurance racing is just too exciting. Grabs my attention with both fists. Screams, "watch these men DRIVE!" A neighbor invited me over for drinks. Told him, "Can't do it, gotta watch Le Mans!" Maybe not exactly. I'll admit, at times my attention wandered. I did a load of laundry. Ate some snacks. Half listened to the commentary. Threw a hump at my wife. I learned that Patrick Long, driving #88, is big brother to Kevin "Spanky" Long. Spanky's a bit of a legend in the skate world. Always weird how top notch talent can run in families like that. Kind of surprised I've never heard that before. Worked for a skate mag for a years, met Spanky a handful of times. Someone must've told me that he has an older brother who drives race cars. Dash cams at night are scary. High powered headlights in the P1s reach almost 300 meters. Cars outrun that distance easy. Seems like they're just steering into the black and hoping for the best. But that can't be the case. People'd be dropping dead let and right. Very amused by how the guys in GT are like, "Dude, stop flashing your fucking lights before you pass." But the LMP's are all, "Suck a dick! I do what I want." Top three stayed neck and neck nearly all night long. As the sun gets ready to creep back over the horizon the top three are separated by only eleven and a half seconds. Toyota 5 and 6, Porsche 2. Audi 8 is two laps behind Porsche, beleaguered 7 is dealing with constant trouble eleven laps from the front. GTE Pro sees Ferrari 82 in first, Ford 68 and 69 right behind. To win you've gotta drive perfect, build perfect. Fours cars retired so far. I'm beginning to appreciate the endurance aspect a little more fully. Only really considered the drivers at first. The mental and physical stress driving these cars at these speeds at length would inflict. But keeping the damn things running is the real deal. To win you've gotta drive perfect, build perfect.

Car technology I'm thankful and unthankful for

The past few years have seen a surge of tech features in new vehicles — everything from cloud-based content to semi-autonomous driving. While some of it makes the driving experience better, not all tech is useful or well thought out. Automakers who are adept at drivetrains, ride quality and in-cabin comforts often fail at infotainment interfaces and connectivity. From testing dozens of vehicles each year and in the spirit of gratitude, here are three car tech features I'm thankful — and a trio I could live without. Thanks Connected search: This seems like a no-brainer since everyone already has it on their smartphones, but not all automakers include it in the dashboard and as part of their nav systems. The best ones, such as Toyota Entune, leverage a driver's connected device to search for a range of services and don't charge a subscription or require a separate data plan for the car. I also like how systems like Chrysler Uconnect use Yelp or other apps to find everything from coffee to gas stations and allow searching via voice recognition. Apple CarPlay and Android Auto: It took two of the largest tech companies to get in-dash infotainment right. While they have their disadvantages (you're forced to use Apple Maps with CarPlay, for example), the two smartphone-integration platforms make it easier and safer to use their respective native apps for phoning, messaging, music and more behind the wheel by transferring a familiar UI to the dashboard — with no subscription required. Heated seats and steering wheels: I really appreciate these simple but pleasant features come wintertime. It's easy to get spoiled by bun-warmers on frosty mornings and using a heated steering wheel to warm the cold hands. I recently tested a 2018 Mercedes-Benz E400 Coupe that also had heated armrest that added to a cozy luxury experience. Bonus points for brands like Buick that allow setting seat heaters to turn on when the engine is remotely started. No thanks Automaker infotainment systems: Automakers have probably poured millions into creating their own infotainment systems, with the result largely being frustration on the part of most car owners. And Apple CarPlay and Android Auto coming along to make them obsolete. While some automaker systems, such as Toyota Entune and FCA's Uconnect, are easy and intuitive to use, it seems that high-end systems (I'm looking at you BMW iDrive and Mercedes-Benz COMAND) are the most difficult.

Junkyard Gem: 1993 Mercury Topaz GS Sedan

As long as the Mercury brand existed — a period spanning the 1939 through 2011 model years — nearly every Mercury sold in the United States was more or less a redecorated Ford model. The Torino had its Montego sibling, the Crown Victoria had the Grand Marquis, the Cougar was based on everything from the Mustang to the Mondeo, and so on. Naturally, when the folks in Dearborn developed the Ford Tempo compact, a Mercury version had to be created. This was the Topaz, with the official launch of both cars taking place on the deck of the aircraft carrier often referred to as the USS Decrepit. You can't make this stuff up! The Tempo/Topaz, also known as the Tempaz, has largely faded from our collective automotive memory by now, since it broke no significant new engineering or styling ground (this story would be much different if Ford had only put the amazing straight-eight "T-Drive" Tempaz powertrain into production) and didn't have any endearing features other than being a cheap domestic competitor to the Toyota Corolla and Nissan Sentra. Still, close to 3 million Tempazes left North American Ford and Lincoln-Mercury showrooms during the 1984-1994 period. As you'd expect, most of these disposable cars disappeared from both the street and the car graveyard long ago. It takes a very special Tempaz for me to break out my camera while I'm patrolling my local wrecking yards; generally, this means an ultra-rare all-wheel-drive version or at least a very early model in super-clean condition. Today's Junkyard Gem is neither, but I took one look at this spectacular Bordello Red crypto-velour-and-slippery-plastic interior and recognized that this was no ordinary junkyard Mercury. It appears that Mercury had dropped the idea of clever names for base-grade seat fabrics by the time of the Topaz, referring to this stuff as just "cloth" in all the brochures I could find. That's too bad, because Mercurys had cool names for upholstery (e.g., Chromatex) in the old days. The interior is in very good condition but the steering wheel shows substantial wear, so I think this is a high-mile Topaz that got meticulous care from its owner or owners. Ford used five-digit odometers on these cars until the end of production, however, so we'll never know if this reading indicates 65,404 miles or 365,404 miles. The body is very straight, but there's some nasty corrosion behind the right front wheelwell.