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2015 Australian Grand Prix all about grooves and trenches [spoilers]

We can't remember the last time 90 percent of the action in Formula One had nothing to do with cars setting timed laps. Yet that's was the situation at the Australian Grand Prix, continuing the antics from a scarcely believable off-season with blow-ups, driver and team absences, a lawsuit, and a clear need for some teams to get down and give us 50 pit stops. Nothing much has changed from a regulation standpoint, and at the front of the field nothing has changed at all. Lewis Hamilton in the Mercedes-AMG Petronas claimed the first position on the grid like someone put a sign on it that read, "Reserved for Mr. Hamilton;" teammate Nico Rosberg was 0.6 behind in second, Felipe Massa in the Williams was 1.4 seconds back in third. Sebastian Vettel proved that Ferrari didn't do another Groundhog Day routine this off-season, slotting into fourth. His teammate Kimi Raikkonen was not even four-hundredths of a second behind, ahead of Valtteri Bottas in the second Williams, Daniel Ricciardo in the first Infiniti Red Bull Racing, and rookie Carlos Sainz, Jr. in the first Toro Rosso. Lotus, now powered by Mercedes, got both cars into the top ten with Romain Grosjean in ninth, Pastor Maldonado in the final spot. However, even though the regulations are almost all carryover, in actual fact, everything has changed this year. Mercedes is even faster. Renault is even worse. Ferrari and Lotus are a lot better. Toro Rosso is looking like anything but a junior team. And McLaren is – well, let's not even get into that yet. Furthermore, this weekend was shambles: 15 cars started the race, the smallest naturally-occurring grid since 1963. Manor couldn't get its cars ready before qualifying. Bottas had to pull out after qualifying when he tore a disc in his back and couldn't pass the medical clearance tests. The gearbox in Daniil Kvyat's Red Bull gave out on the lap from the pit to the grid, and to give misery some company, the Honda in Kevin Magnussen's McLaren blew up on the same lap. When the lights went out, Hamilton ran away and was more than a second ahead of his teammate at the end of Lap 1. The advantage disappeared, though, because behind him, at the first corner, we got our first pile-up. As Raikkonen drove around the outside of Vettel at the right-hand Turn 1 it looked like Vettel, going over the kerbing, hopped to his left and bounced into Raikkonen.

'Ring Queen Sabine Schmitz battles Ron Simons in Porsche vs Ferrari scrap

We hope you have seven minutes to kill. RSR Nürburgring recently took the time to pit Sabine Schmitz and her slightly modified Porsche 911 GT3 RS against Ron Simons and his Ferrari 458 Italia in a sparring match around the infamous Green Hell. The clip begins with the two drivers engaging in a smidgeon of smack talk before the two get down to the business of beating each other's doors off around one of the most challenging courses in the world. Simons calls his car superior to Schmitz's 911, while Schmitz says she's up against nothing more than a Fiat driven by an old Dutch man.
Don't hold any punches, you two.
We won't spoil the finale for you, but we will say the tango is worth watching. At the end, the loser calls for a rematch. We can't wait to see that throwdown. Check out the clip below for yourself.

Race Recap: 2014 Canadian Grand Prix makes its money on the back end

Momentum. That was the word of the weekend at the last race in Monaco - Nico Rosberg retaking it, Williams getting reacquainted with it and Marussia tasting it for the first time, among other examples. That same, weighted term flew to Canada with the money circus known as Formula One, took all weekend to build and then walloped the front end of the field and the season on Sunday afternoon.
Rosberg carried his Monaco triumph into qualifying, putting his Mercedes AMG Petronas on pole ahead of teammate and reconciled friend Lewis Hamilton. Reigning World Champion Sebastian Vettel finally got the better of Daniel Ricciardo, lining up for Infiniti Red Bull Racing in third ahead of his teammate in sixth, split up by Valtteri Bottas and Felipe Massa in the Williams. Ferrari, having brought numerous aero updates for this race, didn't get the push it was really looking for, Fernando Alonso happy to get seventh ahead of Kimi Räikkönen, still troubled by his F14T, in tenth. Jean-Eric Vergne secured eighth for Toro Rosso, Jenson Button lining up ninth for a still-struggling McLaren.
When the lights went out, Mercedes, Williams and Marussia would all find out how quickly momentum can short circuit or disappear in a sparkly ball of high-speed contact, spilled fluids and tire barriers.