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Race recap: 2016 Australian F1 Grand Prix a rowdy start to season

The three brief Formula 1 tests ahead of the current season belied how much had gone on since the last race in November: Infiniti subbed out for Tag Heuer, Renault is back, the all new Haas F1 team, a revamped Manor, three brand new drivers and two returning drivers, a raft of regulation changes among the newly tilled soil. The four engine manufacturers spent a combined 67 tokens among the 138 in the kitty, Renault using just seven of their 32. The only conclusive proof to come from the annual intermission was the otherworldly capability of Mercedes-AMG Petronas. The Silver Arrows didn't even try the super- and ultra-soft tires, focusing on reliability instead of speed. The result? They ran more than 19 race distances, obliterating the lap totals of every other team. There are certainly a few people who enjoyed the complicated new rolling-elimination qualifying format fast-tracked to approval just a few weeks ago. They were wildly outnumbered by those who thought it was awful, including the same team heads who voted for it. We'd probably have to go back to the debacle at the 2005 Indianapolis Grand Prix for an equivalent fiasco when Michelin pulled its teams over safety fears, leaving six cars out of 20 to qualify. In Australia, within 24 hours of the conclusion of qualifying, the new format had itself been eliminated. Nevertheless, qualifying also taught us what didn't happen over the winter: any other team progressing enough to outduel Mercedes. After admitting that he dropped off after winning the championship last year, then getting questioned in the press for some dubious off-season activities, Lewis Hamilton proved he can still turn it on when he wants to. The Brit smoked the Albert Park track in 1:23.837, more than three-tenths of a second ahead of teammate Nico Rosberg in second place. Ferrari did make strides during the off-season, but only enough to keep the same gap it had to Mercedes last year: Sebastian Vettel lined up third, a half-second behind Rosberg, teammate Kimi Raikkonen another four-tenths back in fourth place. Max Verstappen said Toro Rosso is the best of the rest, the Dutchman taking fifth place in front of Felipe Massa for Williams in sixth and Toro Rosso teammate Carlos Sainz in sixth. Daniel Ricciardo – who wasn't smiling after qualifying – kept Red Bull and its new "Tag Heuer" engines in the conversation with eighth on the grid.

Why all of this year's F1 noses are so ugly [w/video]

If you're a serious fan of Formula One, you already know all about The Great Nosecone Conundrum of 2014. Those given to parsing each year's F1 regulations predicted the strong possibility of the so-called "anteater" noses as far back as early December 2013. Highly suggestive visual evidence first came after Caterham's crash test in early January, with further proof coming as soon as Williams showed a rendering of the FW36 challenger for this year's championship. That car earned a name that wasn't nearly so kind as "anteater."
Casual followers of the sport - or anyone who gets the feed from this site - probably don't know what's happening, except to wonder why the current year's F1 cars are led by appendages that would make Cyrano de Bergerac feel a whole lot better about himself.
The short answer to the question of ugsome F1 noses is "FIA regulations and safety." The reason there are various kinds of ugsome noses is simpler: engineers. The same boffins who have given us advances including carbon fiber monocoques, six-wheeled cars, double diffusers and Drag Reduction Systems are bred to do everything in their power to exploit every possible freedom in the regulations to make the cars they're building go faster - the caveat being that those advances have to work within the overall philosophy of the whole car.

24 Hours of Le Mans live update part two

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice. Parker lives in Hawaii and can hold his breath longer than he can go without swearing. For Part One, click here. Or you can skip ahead to Part Three here. I write about surfing for a living. If you can call it a living. Basically means I spend my days fucking around and my wife pays for everything. Because she's got a real job that pays well. Brings home the bacon. Very progressive arrangement. Super twenty first century. I run a surf website, beachgrit.com, with two other guys. It's a strange gig. More or less uncensored. Kind of popular. Very good at alienating advertisers. My behavior has cost us a few bucks. I'm terrible at self-censorship. Know there's a line out there, no idea where it lies. I still don't understand any of the technical side. Might as well be astrophysics or something. For contests I do long rambling write ups. They rarely make much sense. Mainly just talk about my life, whatever random thoughts pop into my head. "Can you do something similar for Le Mans?" "Sure, but I know absolutely fuck-all about racing." "That's okay. Just write what you want." "Will do. But you're gonna need to edit my stuff. Probably censor it heavily." So here I am. I spent the last week trying to learn all I can about the sport of endurance racing. But there's only so much you can jam in your head. And I still don't understand any of the technical side. Might as well be astrophysics or something. While I rambled things were happening. Tracy Krohn spun into the gravel on the Forza chicane. #89 is out of the race after an accident I missed. Pegasus racing hit the wall on the Porsche curves. Bashed up front end, in the garage getting fixed. Toyota and Porsche are swapping back and forth in the front three. Ford back in the lead in GTE Pro. #91 Porsche took a stone through the radiator, down two laps. Not good. The wife and I are one of those weird childless couples that spend way too much time caring for the needs of their pet. French bulldog, Mr Eugene Victor Debs. Great little guy. Spent the last four years training him to be obedient and friendly. Nice thing about dogs, when you're sick of dealing with them you can just lock 'em in another room for a few hours. You don't need to worry about paying for college.