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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

Europeans ask Chevy to bring Volt back to Europe

A group of French fans is asking for a jolt of support from General Motors to get the 2016 Chevrolet Volt across the pond. The Association Amperistes et Amis des Vehicules Rechargeables is running a Change.org petition that currently has 383 signatures out of a goal of 500. While the attempt is admirable, it's probably going to take a lot more than several hundred people for the model to make a return to the continent after the poor showing of the Opel Ampera – first-gen Volt's European cousin. The group's major argument for bringing a version of the second-gen Volt to Europe is that consumers need "an intermediate choice between expensive or range-limited pure electric cars and plug-in hybrids with a miserable electric range." Furthermore, such a vehicle would prod the competition to produce similarly efficient electrified models. They also lavish praise on the abilities of the Ampera for its long EV driving range. The supporters aren't entirely kind to GM in the petition, though, and claim the company excluded the original car from marketing efforts there. The Ampera actually enjoyed a strong European launch with more orders than initially expected and briefly topped the best-sellers list among EVs there. It was even named 2012 European Car of the Year. Those halcyon days didn't last long, and by 2014 sales fell off to a trickle. The waning reception caused GM's decision not to introduce a version of the new 2016 Volt there or in Australia. Related Video:

New Chevy Malibu helps parents monitor teen driver's performance

For teens, a driver's license can represent freedom. For parents, it can represent fear. Now there's a way parents can alleviate some of their worries and monitor their teen drivers. The 2016 Chevy Malibu, which debuted Wednesday at the New York Auto Show, contains a new feature that tracks driving performance and helps inexperienced drivers rein in some of their more dangerous habits. Accessed through a password in the car's infotainment system, parents can learn how far their child has driven, how fast they've gone and how many times they've braked hard, among other features. "It's an in-vehicle report card that gives parents information," says Mary Ann Beebe, one of the lead engineers who designed the system. "It's meant to be used as a teaching tool. Parents can sit down and talk with their teen about, 'Here are some areas where you're doing well, and here's some where you can use improvement.'" Car accidents are the leading cause of death for teens ages 16 to 19, and only last week, AAA released a study that found their driving behavior can leave them particularly susceptible to crashes. General Motors had sought ways to help educate and train younger drivers. In an era where data can be harvested from cars, monitoring performance is one way to provide information. Parents access the Teen Driver system in the car through a PIN-number entered into the Malibu's infotainment system. The report card can only be seen in the car – so far, it's not available via a smartphone app, like some other types of on-board diagnostic information. The system is activated by the use of a specially programmed key fob that lets the system know who is driving the car. Once the vehicle recognizes the key fob, it takes preventive measures to ensure safer conduct behind the wheel: Until the driver and front passenger buckle their seat belts, the radio is muted. Safety systems such as forward-collision assist and electronic stability control are automatically turned on. Parents can preset preferred speed limits, and drivers will hear a warning if that sound is exceeded. "We have these great technologies, and we want to make sure we turn them on for the teen," Beebe said. There are no geo-location aspects of the program, and data is stored on the car, not uploaded to the Cloud or even seen by General Motors, she said.