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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part three

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice. Parker lives in Hawaii and has an associates degree in dropping f-bombs. For Part One, click here. Part Two is here. Really hoped I'd be able to grab an hour or two of sleep before the sun rose over Le Mans. Dark dark dark, couldn't figure out what was going on. Commentators struggled at times as well. But I couldn't do it. Endurance racing is just too exciting. Grabs my attention with both fists. Screams, "watch these men DRIVE!" A neighbor invited me over for drinks. Told him, "Can't do it, gotta watch Le Mans!" Maybe not exactly. I'll admit, at times my attention wandered. I did a load of laundry. Ate some snacks. Half listened to the commentary. Threw a hump at my wife. I learned that Patrick Long, driving #88, is big brother to Kevin "Spanky" Long. Spanky's a bit of a legend in the skate world. Always weird how top notch talent can run in families like that. Kind of surprised I've never heard that before. Worked for a skate mag for a years, met Spanky a handful of times. Someone must've told me that he has an older brother who drives race cars. Dash cams at night are scary. High powered headlights in the P1s reach almost 300 meters. Cars outrun that distance easy. Seems like they're just steering into the black and hoping for the best. But that can't be the case. People'd be dropping dead let and right. Very amused by how the guys in GT are like, "Dude, stop flashing your fucking lights before you pass." But the LMP's are all, "Suck a dick! I do what I want." Top three stayed neck and neck nearly all night long. As the sun gets ready to creep back over the horizon the top three are separated by only eleven and a half seconds. Toyota 5 and 6, Porsche 2. Audi 8 is two laps behind Porsche, beleaguered 7 is dealing with constant trouble eleven laps from the front. GTE Pro sees Ferrari 82 in first, Ford 68 and 69 right behind. To win you've gotta drive perfect, build perfect. Fours cars retired so far. I'm beginning to appreciate the endurance aspect a little more fully. Only really considered the drivers at first. The mental and physical stress driving these cars at these speeds at length would inflict. But keeping the damn things running is the real deal. To win you've gotta drive perfect, build perfect.

Consumer Reports no longer recommends Honda Civic

Consumer Reports annual Car Reliability Survey is out, and yes, there are some big surprises. First and foremost? The venerable publication no longer recommends the Honda Civic. In fact, aside from the walking-dead CR-Z and limited-release Clarity fuel-cell car, the Civic is the only Honda to miss out on CR's prestigious nod. At the opposite end there's a surprise as well – Toyota and Lexus remain the most reliable brands on the market, but Buick cracked the top three. That's up from seventh last year, and the first time for an American brand to stand on the Consumer Reports podium. Mazda's entire lineup earned Recommended checks as well. Consumer Reports dinged the Civic for its "infuriating" touch-screen radio, lack of driver lumbar adjustability, the limited selection of cars on dealer lots fitted with Honda's popular Sensing system, and the company's decision to offer LaneWatch instead of a full-tilt blind-spot monitoring system. Its score? A lowly 58. The Civic isn't the only surprise drop from CR's Recommended ranks. The Audi A3, Ford F-150, Subaru WRX/STI, and Volkswagen Jetta, GTI, and Passat all lost the Consumer Reports' checkmark. On the flipside, a number of popular vehicles graduated to the Recommended ranks, including the BMW X5, Chevrolet Camaro, Corvette, and Cruze, Hyundai Santa Fe, Porsche Macan, and Tesla Model S. Perhaps the biggest surprise is the hilariously recall-prone Ford Escape getting a Recommended check – considering the popularity of Ford's small crossover, this is likely a coup for the brand, as it puts the Escape on a level playing field with the Recommended Toyota RAV4, Honda CR-V, and Nissan Rogue. While Ford is probably happy to see CR promote the Escape, the list wasn't as kind for every brand. For example, of the entire Fiat Chrysler Automobiles catalog, the ancient Chrysler 300 was the only car to score a check – there wasn't a single Dodge, Fiat, Jeep, Maserati, or Ram on the list. That hurts. FCA isn't alone at the low end, either. GMC, Jaguar Land Rover, Mini, and Mitsubishi don't have a vehicle on CR's list between them, while brands like Mercedes-Benz, Volvo, Nissan, Lincoln, Infiniti, and Cadillac only have a few models each. You can check out Consumer Reports entire reliability roundup, even without a subscription, here.

It's time for Corvette to attack Porsche

For most of its existence, Porsche was a smug little sports car company with a fairly limited lineup and small but steady sales. Any time the company strayed from its air-cooled, rear engine formula, the purists would turn their noses. The 944? The 948? "Not a proper Porsche," they'd sniff. And then came the greatest sin of them all: the Cayenne. To the purists, this was treason. Porsche making an SUV? Horrors! Of course, you all know how it turned out. Porsche grew to be a profit-generating juggernaut within the Volkswagen Group. And since one SUV wasn't enough they added another, the Macan. By the end of the decade Porsche will have quadrupled its global sales. You have to wonder what else it has up its sleeve. Couldn't this be a lesson for General Motors? It has a terrific sports car brand in Corvette. In fact, it's arguably the most iconic brand within GM's full-line portfolio. But for its entire existence that brand has been locked up within Chevrolet. Maybe it's time for GM to treat Corvette as a stand-alone company. Maybe it's time for GM to unlock that brand and treat Corvette as a stand-alone company. A Corvette SUV could be a killer first step. Since Porsche only makes two SUVs, maybe Corvette could make three. Small, medium, and large. And just as Porsche has the Panamera, an executive sedan from team Corvette could become an instant "gotta-have" for the yacht-buying jet set. Of course, the Corvette purists will cringe. And the biggest hue and cry will come from Chevrolet's US dealers. That's why the best place to launch the new Corvette brand would be far away from those franchisees: in China. Chinese consumers have no pre-conceived ideas that 'Vettes can only be sold in Chevy stores. And Chinese enthusiasts very much admire Corvette's historic pedigree. You've no doubt read about how Chinese authorities are cracking down on conspicuous consumption. That makes the timing even better. Corvette's selling point has always been that it is an amazing bargain for the performance you get. What a perfect way to undercut Porsche. In fact, pairing the Corvette brand with Cadillac in China could be just the shot in the arm that Cadillac's Chinese dealers need. Despite having very competitive cars, Cadillac lags far behind Audi, Mercedes, and BMW. What Cadillac dealers need is a lot more showroom traffic. And a jaw dropping lineup of Corvette-branded vehicles could bring in throngs of buyers.