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2016 Cadillac CTS-V prepares to kick ass, take names

Some stories write themselves. This post on the North American International Auto Show debut of the 2016 Cadillac CTS-V is one of them. This 200-mile-per-hour sedan pilfers the 6.2-liter supercharged V8 from the Chevy Corvette Z06, and puts it to the same tire-devastating effect, offering up 640 horsepower and 630 pound-feet of torque. An eight-speed automatic – please join us in a moment of silence for the dearly departed manual CTS-V – then dispatches the force-induced thrust to a very large, sticky set of Michelin Pilot Super Sport tires. To ensure the CTS-V can tear your face off with lateral Gs as well as accelerative Gs, Cadillac stiffened the car's structure by 25 percent, fitted magnetic ride control and fitted the aforementioned tires. Beyond the mechanicals, a substantial rear spoiler, front splitter and diffuser improve grip through aerodynamics. Keeping drivers pinned during all this tire shredding and face tearing is the task of meaty, two-piece Recaro sport seats, which are found in a luxuriously appointed cabin, complete with 4G LTE connectivity, a Bose stereo and Siri Eyes Free. There's even a Performance Data Recorder, which will be on hand to record your miscues if (or perhaps when) the car's extreme abilities outpace your own talents. Take a look at our array of live images from the CTS-V's official debut at the 2015 Detroit Auto Show.

Watch Brad Pitt's Chinese Cadillac XTS commercial

Once upon a time, in a land not so far from this one, Brad Pitt was the very face anti-consumerism. You see, when he slipped into the role of the elitist-loathing, food-abusing, violence-embracing Tyler Durden from Fight Club, his visage was inextricably married to images of leveling credit card corporations with nothing more than a little human fat and some determination. Of course, that was before Pitt settled into old age with a passel of children at his feet. Now, it seems, he'll shill for something as long as it doesn't damage his reputation in America.
Need proof? Look no further than this Chinese ad for the Cadillac XTS. In it, Pitt contentedly wafts the big front-wheel drive barge around San Francisco against a mildly euphoric soundtrack. You can check out the scene for yourself below, just make sure you have your last meal squarely situated in your stomach before pressing play. We have to wonder if Pitt wakes up in the middle of the night with Chuck Palahniuk's oddly omniscient words echoing in his ears: "Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you."

Weekly Recap: New bosses try to jump-start Cadillac and Lincoln

Both of America's domestic luxury brands seem to be stuck in neutral.
It's ironic that Cadillac and Lincoln got new bosses within days of each other this month. It's also a commentary on the fact both of America's domestic luxury brands seem to be stuck in neutral.