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Watch Brad Pitt's Chinese Cadillac XTS commercial

Once upon a time, in a land not so far from this one, Brad Pitt was the very face anti-consumerism. You see, when he slipped into the role of the elitist-loathing, food-abusing, violence-embracing Tyler Durden from Fight Club, his visage was inextricably married to images of leveling credit card corporations with nothing more than a little human fat and some determination. Of course, that was before Pitt settled into old age with a passel of children at his feet. Now, it seems, he'll shill for something as long as it doesn't damage his reputation in America.
Need proof? Look no further than this Chinese ad for the Cadillac XTS. In it, Pitt contentedly wafts the big front-wheel drive barge around San Francisco against a mildly euphoric soundtrack. You can check out the scene for yourself below, just make sure you have your last meal squarely situated in your stomach before pressing play. We have to wonder if Pitt wakes up in the middle of the night with Chuck Palahniuk's oddly omniscient words echoing in his ears: "Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you."

Mercedes leads in US luxury car thefts

Mercedes-Benz makes some fine automobiles. The Silver Arrow'd cars are so good, apparently, that thieves can't help but try to steal them. The German brand is at the top of the charts for luxury car thefts in the US, according to the National Insurance Crime Bureau, with New York City leading the way. (And those New Yorkers complain about Detroit being bad!)
The C-Class was the most stolen model, with 485 ganked between 2009 and 2012 in NYC alone, while the E-Class and S-Class (which also boasted the worst recovery rate, at 59 percent) both finished in the top ten. Following the C-Class was the BMW 3 Series and Infiniti G. Not surprisingly, each of these were the most common models in their respective lineups. Los Angeles and Miami are also prime hotspots for luxury car thefts, according to the Detroit News report.
While getting your car stolen is pretty awful, there was one inspiring statistic compiled by the NICB - the average recovery rate across the board was 84 percent, with the Cadillac CTS getting recovered 91 percent of the time.

Cadillac prices new ATS-V from $61,460*

It's official, Art & Science students: Cadillac has opened the order books for the new ATS-V, and while it was at it, has told us how much we should expect to shell out for the privilege. Pricing starts at $61,460 for the 2016 Cadillac ATS-V sedan (*plus tax, title, license, dealer fees and any optional equipment). Go for the sleeker (but less practical) ATS-V coupe and you'll be looking at $63,660 (with the same conditions). For all that scratch, you'll be looking at a 3.6-liter twin-turbo V6 driving 455 horsepower and 445 pound-feet of torque through a six-speed manual or eight-speed automatic transmission, for a 0-60 time of 3.9 seconds and a top speed of 189 miles per hour. The ATS-V also features Brembo brakes, magnetorheological dampers, launch control and rev-matching with no-lift shifting. Cadillac has still yet to tell us how much gas its new performance model will guzzle, but it's got time before production gears up in the spring and the online configuration tool launches in April. Cadillac Opens Ordering for 2016 ATS-V Dual-purpose performance luxury compact designed for the track, touring 2015-02-10 DETROIT – Cadillac dealers have begun accepting orders for the 2016 ATS-V – the brand's inaugural luxury compact performance car starting production this spring. Available in sedan and coupe forms, the twin-turbocharged ATS-V offers a dual-purpose luxury performance experience: a car with true track capability straight from the factory with sophisticated road manners. Powered by the segment's highest-output six-cylinder engine – the Cadillac Twin Turbo rated at 455 horsepower (339 kW) and 445 lb-ft of torque (603 Nm) – the ATS-V achieves 0-60 performance in 3.9 seconds and a top speed of 189 mph. The Cadillac Twin Turbo engine is backed by a six-speed manual – with Active Rev Match, no-lift shifting and launch control – or a paddle-shift eight-speed automatic transmission featuring launch control and Performance Algorithm Shift. "The V-Series is the ultimate expression of Cadillac's re-ignited product substance and the passion at the core of our brand," said Johan de Nysschen, Cadillac president. "The ATS-V expands the V-Series lineup, bringing a new kind of performance character to Cadillac. Lightweight, agile and potent, the ATS-V will make an ideal pairing with the larger and even more powerful all-new 2016 CTS-V midsize sedan, which arrives later this summer," he said.