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Automotive April Fools' joke roundup [w/videos]

Happy April, everyone. And we all know what this first day of the month means: April Fools' Day. Today is a national holiday for pranksters with the Internet acting as a serious enabler, and it's always fun to see what kind of vivid imaginations exist out there in the automotive world. The abundance of fake news gets a little old as the day rolls on, but we did manage to get in a few chuckles thanks to a handful of major automakers and automotive news outlets that got into the pranking spirit this year
Some of our favorites this year includes Subaru showing what happens when you combine a bunch of rumors, a Corvette some may have already thought was a joke or Honda providing some in-car innovation circa the late 1980s. Honestly, we're still waiting for official confirmation from Mitsubishi that the recently introduced 2014 Mirage is an elaborate April Fools' joke using a failed design intended for the 1995 Geo Metro. We dug up as much "official" OEM foolishness we could find, as well as some of our other favorites, and posted them all below.

The 2014 Alpina B4 Bi-Turbo Cabrio powers up luxury and speed

The BMW specialists at Alpina know how to exploit a niche when they see one. With the BMW M4 still not technically official, it saw the need for a higher performance four-seat convertible than the 435i 'vert. Enter the new B4 Bi-Turbo Cabrio that is debuting at the Geneva Motor Show.
The European-exclusive model takes BMW's 3.0-liter, twin-turbocharged inline-6 and massages it up to 410 horsepower and 442 pound-feet of torque, which is less power but more twist than the M4 would give buyers. Alpina's tend to be built more as quick, luxurious grand tourers, and the B4 Bi-Turbo gets is no different with an adaptive sport suspension and an eight-speed automatic. Plus it wears the classic pinstripes and 21-spoke wheels that are the brand's design hallmarks.
While the added weight for the convertible means that the Cabrio takes 4.5 seconds to reach 62 miles per hour, about a half-second slower than the coupe, at the moment it is the only way to get this kind of performance in a BMW convertible. Orders for the convertible open in March in Europe and prices in Germany start at 74,800 euros ($102,878 at today's conversion rates).

Alpina D3 Bi-Turbo torquing its way toward Frankfurt

Few tuners benefit from the kind of factory support that Alpina does, giving the pseudo-aftermarket firm nearly as much official status as BMW's own M division. And this is its latest product.
Set to debut, as expected, at the Frankfurt Motor Show this week is the new Alpina D3 Bi-Turbo, which you can consider, for all intents and purposes, the diesel M3 that BMW never built. While the outgoing D3 (which was Alpina's best-selling model) used a four-cylinder engine, Autocar reports that the new model packs a 3.0-liter, twin-turbo inline-six diesel to drive a respectable 345 horsepower but a mammoth 516 pound-feet of torque to either the rear wheels or all four through the optional availability of xDrive. (European buyers will also be able to choose between sedan and wagon bodystyles.)
The engine is the same as you'd find in the XD3 and D5 (Alpina's diesel performance versions of the X3 and 5 Series, respectively), but in the lighter 3 Series form can propel the D3 Bi-Turbo up to 62 miles per hour in 4.6 seconds and on to an Autobahn-crunching top speed of 173 mph. And as per Alpina tradition, visual cues are minimal, with a subtly optimized aero kit and 19- or available 20-inch alloy wheels. Unfortunately, the 7 Series-based B7 is the only Alpina we get on this side of the Atlantic, but an oil-drenched performance enthusiast can dream.