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Automotive April Fools' joke roundup [w/videos]

Happy April, everyone. And we all know what this first day of the month means: April Fools' Day. Today is a national holiday for pranksters with the Internet acting as a serious enabler, and it's always fun to see what kind of vivid imaginations exist out there in the automotive world. The abundance of fake news gets a little old as the day rolls on, but we did manage to get in a few chuckles thanks to a handful of major automakers and automotive news outlets that got into the pranking spirit this year
Some of our favorites this year includes Subaru showing what happens when you combine a bunch of rumors, a Corvette some may have already thought was a joke or Honda providing some in-car innovation circa the late 1980s. Honestly, we're still waiting for official confirmation from Mitsubishi that the recently introduced 2014 Mirage is an elaborate April Fools' joke using a failed design intended for the 1995 Geo Metro. We dug up as much "official" OEM foolishness we could find, as well as some of our other favorites, and posted them all below.

BMW, Mini aim to sell million cars off new FWD platform

Mini sold 301,526 cars in 2012; BMW sold 1.54 million of its own models. According to a piece in Autocar, analysts say the coming UKL1 platform that will form the skeleton of the third-generation Mini Cooper and coming front-wheel drive BMW 1 Series could be responsible for "more than 900,000 cars per year" all by itself.
That sale fire is fueled by the UKL1 wearing up to twenty-three bodies in total between the two brands, 11 for Mini and 12 for BMW, rendering hatchbacks, sedans, coupes, convertibles, wagons, crossovers and people-haulers from about 12.5 feet to 14.5 feet. In April the VP of Mini USA said we might find some current models don't make it to a next generation, but a graphic accompanying the Autocar story has them all there. If it's correct, then those 23 models will only base model lines and don't account for different engines and four-wheel-drive options for each model.
The big changes that would perhaps mean big sales for the Mini line are a five-door hatch with two smaller rear doors for children, the sedan talked about last year for Asian markets and an MPV perhaps wearing the "Traveler" name that could send the Countryman in a more SUV-like direction.

BMW celebrates 30 years of M5 with 600-hp super sedan

It's been 30 years since BMW rolled out the first M5, and while displacement and cylinder count may have fluctuated over those past three decades, output has only increased. The first-generation E28 M5 packed a 3.5-liter inline-six with 252 horsepower and 243 lb-ft of torque. The second-gen E34 model that followed added an extra 100 cc (and later 200 more) to produce 310 hp and 266 lb-ft. The E39 followed with a 4.9-liter V8 churning out 394 hp and 369 lb-ft, replaced by the award-winning 5.0-liter V10 in the E60 with its 500 hp and 380 lb-ft before BMW rolled out the latest model with a 4.4-liter V8, its twin turbos making up for the two dropped cylinders and 600 cc of displacement to produce 560 hp and 502 lb-ft of torque. But even that's being left in the dust by the new special edition you see here.
The 30th Anniversary Edition BMW M5 packs that same 4.4-liter twin-turbo V8, but cranks the output up to a nice, round 600 horsepower and a solid 516 lb-ft of torque to go with it. That makes it more powerful, not only than any M5 that's come before it, but also any of its rivals. The Jaguar XFR-S and Audi RS6 Avant (the latter only available as a wagon and not in North America) both lag behind this ultimate of Ultimate Driving Machines; only the Mercedes-Benz E63 AMG trumps it on torque (but not on power), with 531 lb-ft in stock form and 590 in the S-Model.
As a result, the 0-60 time drops from a quoted 4.2 seconds in the stock M5 to a scant 3.7 in the 30th Anniversary edition (just one tick behind that twistier E63 S). The special M5 also comes with the Competition Package as standard, as well as a dedicated control module for the Active M Differential, a special Frozen Dark Silver matte finish, 20-inch alloys and black chrome badges. Special badges abound inside as well, where you'll also find black leather and Alcantara upholstery and aluminum trim. There'll even be a dedicated one-day course offered to owners at The Thermal Club in Palm Springs, CA, to further sweeten the deal.