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24 Hours of Le Mans live update part one

We tasked surfing journalist Rory Parker to watch this year's live stream of the 2016 24 Hours of Le Mans. What follows is an experiment to experience the world's greatest endurance race from the perspective of a motorsports novice with a profanity-laden stream-of-consciousness writing style. Parker lives in Hawaii and spends far more time spearfishing than behind the wheel of a car. Jump ahead to Part Two here, and Part Three here. Big Money and billionaire hobbyists and rockets on wheels. Jets belching French color smoke overhead. Balance of power fuckery. Plenty of water on the ground this morning. Absurdly expensive motorcars lined up in the pissing rain. Fast twitch lunatics behind the wheel. Chomping at the bit. Let's go let's go let's go! Race hasn't even started, Ford #67 maybe dealing with clutch issues. Karma? That beautiful bastard Brad Pitt's out on the track, waving the tricolor flag. It's a standing start in "Noah's Ark" weather and the 2016 24 hours of Le Mans is go! First lap takes place behind the safety car, finished in a record setting 8 minutes 27 seconds. Wrong kind of record maybe, but this is the first time I've set my mind to watching the whole damn race. Feel like I'm part of history. 3:00 AM on Kauai, a little too early for life. Sucking down coffee like a maniac. Don't fall back asleep. Got my hands on four hours of rest, how much more can I need? Better be enough for the next twenty four hours. Gonna get kinda punchy toward the end. Jason Statham on the scene. Four feet of solid muscle, non-existent hairline. Lovely wife peanut gallery sitting next to me calls him the "best race car drive in the world." Not sure if she's serious. Toss up, could go either way. Statham's a funny guy. Heir to the Bruce Willis comedy action crown. Really good in the movie where the fat comedy lady plays a spy. Ford's on the road. Problems with gearbox pressure, apparently. Nearing a half hour in and the safety car is still on the track. Hellish amounts of water on the ground, in the air. Visibility is garbage. Getting better. Twitter wags, "Not with a bang but a whimper." Just building suspense. Mother Nature felt like killing some people today, race officials need to dial back the drivers until it dries a tad. Normal inclination would've seen 'em flying, guaranteed early lap wrecks. Sad news for that bloodthirsty part of my lizard brain I try and keep suppressed. Good news for humanity. #12 in the pit for a bit.

Felicity Ace sinks with thousands of VWs, Porsches, Lamborghinis

The stricken ship Felicity Ace sank overnight after a week of salvage efforts ultimately proved unsuccessful. The ship, which was carrying up to 4,000 VW Group cars, went to the bottom unexpectedly while a salvage team was attempting to tow it to shore, Bloomberg reports.  "Initial reports from the local salvage team state that the vessel had sunk at around 9AM local time having suffered a list to starboard," Mitsui O.S.K. Lines transportation company (MOL), which owns the Felicity Ace, said in a statement released early Tuesday.    "The last vessel position was around 220nm off the Azores," MOL said. "The salvage crafts will remain around the area to monitor the situation. Further information will be provided as it becomes available." The ship sank after being battered by waves and listing 45 degrees to starboard, the ship’s operator said. “The weather was pretty rough out there,” Pat Adamson, a spokesperson for MOL Ship Management (Singapore), a unit of Mitsui OSK Lines Ltd., said by phone. “And then she sank, which was a surprise.” VW, Porsche, Audi, Bentley and Lamborghini-branded models were aboard the ship, which was headed to Rhode Island from GermanyÂ’s Emden port when the fire broke out on Feb. 16.  Rough seas and ongoing fires fueled by the lithium-ion batteries of EVs onboard delayed the ship's salvage and recovery operations for the better part of a week. While the likelihood of salvaging the smoke and potentially fire- and water-damaged vehicles from Felicity Ace's hold was slim to none, some had held out hope that their special-ordered vehicles might survive the mishap.  The Panama-flagged Felicity Ace was safely evacuated of its 22 crew members by the Portuguese navy after a fire started in its hold more than a week ago. The ship can carry up to 4,000 cars. European carmakers declined to discuss how many vehicles and what models were on board, but it appears to have been transporting approximately 2,500 cars, including roughly 1,100 Porsches and an undetermined number of Volkswagens.  The cars aboard were on order. Porsche customers in the United States were being contacted by their dealers, the company said. “We are already working to replace every car affected by this incident and the first new cars will be built soon,” Angus Fitton, vice president of PR at Porsche Cars North America, Inc., told The Associated Press in an email. The ship sank in water nearly 10,000 feet deep, the Portuguese Navy said.

2016 Audi SQ5 TDI Plus a quick sprinter with 35 mpg

Not only does Europe get cool diesel-powered models, but occasionally, some of those oil-burners are of the high-performance variety. Take the Volkswagen Golf GTD, Audi Q7 V12 TDI, and now this, the new Audi SQ5 TDI Plus. In this new form, the 3.0-liter, turbodiesel V6 is very nearly as powerful as the supercharged V6 available in the US-market SQ5, producing 340 horsepower. That's 27 more than stock, for those keeping track at home. In terms of torque, of course, the diesel-powered SQ5 just embarrasses the gas-powered CUV. Torque is up 37 pound-feet to a thumping 516 lb-ft. We'll go ahead and classify that as a lot. This extra output allows the SQ5 TDI Plus to hit 62 miles per hour in just 5.1 seconds, matching the supercharged model we have access to here in the US. The top speed, as with the gas-powered model, is limited at 155. Unlike North America's CUV, though, fuel economy is very impressive. European drivers can expect the equivalent of 35.6 miles per gallon, compared to just 24 mpg with the gas engine. We have a full set of images of the new SQ5 TDI Plus from the floor of the 2015 Frankfurt Motor Show. Scroll up and check them out. Related Video: Even more power and top-of-the-line equipment: The Audi SQ5 TDI plus with 250 kW (340 hp) - The SQ5 TDI plus will launch on the German market in October 2015 - 700 Nm of torque; from 0 to 100 km/h in 5.1 seconds - On request, exclusive equipment package from quattro GmbH Audi is further expanding its range of S models. In October, the new SQ5 TDI plus* will arrive at German dealerships with more power and driving pleasure and even more extensive equipment – with 250 kW (340 hp), sport differential and 21-inch wheels. Even in its basic version, the successful Audi SQ5 TDI* comes as an SUV with the performance of a sports car. The plus version has an even higher power output. The biturbo V6 TDI produces 250 kW (340 hp) from its three liters of displacement by way of increased injection pressure. This results in 20 kW/27 hp more power compared to the SQ5 TDI. Its peak torque is increased by 50 (36.9 lb-ft) to 700 Nm (516.3 lb-ft). The powerful diesel SUV accelerates from 0 to 100 km/h (62.1 mph) in just 5.1 seconds; the top speed is electronically governed to 250 km/h (155.3 mph). In the NECD cycle, it merely requires 6.6 liters of fuel per 100 kilometers (35.6 US mpg) with emission of 174 g CO2/km (280.0 g/mi).